


Looking for Love

by irena_adler



Series: Watson [23]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asian-American Character, BDSM, Baseball, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:46:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 42,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5270222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irena_adler/pseuds/irena_adler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>  Don's long journey to find love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Down fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don makes a last grab for love - and begins his long downward spiral.

Originally published: 10/27/06 

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 1  


**Pairing:** Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 1 - Down Fall

 **Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM, Torture. Do not read if you are under 18.**

 **A/N:** This is the beginning part of what's going to be a very long story - it's currently looking like 23 parts (!).  This is going to be much darker than my previous stories, since Don is in a much darker place.  It's a long time before there's any good sex (Part 18 at the moment).  This story follows my series which started with "A Week in Watson".  The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place."  Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working.

Part 1 – Down Fall

_/…How many roads you’ve traveled…/_

Don had a problem.He craved warm, physical sex.He wanted, to be honest, to fuck his brother’s boyfriend.But not with his brother there.He wanted Colby all to himself, like he had before Charlie.Charlie would never understand.He was possessive, obsessive.And Colby was totally in love, totally wrapped up in “his Charlie”.

Charlie would never forgive him, but Don couldn’t stop thinking about feel of that round ass, those strong arms holding him, the taste of that thick cock.With David, sex was always a little … calculated.In the past, at least before Charlie, Colby had been fully present, fully engaged.He made Don feel important, cherished.

Dammit, he made Don feel loved.And now he was gone, gone forever to his greedy little brother who always got everything he ever wanted.Don had no delusions about being able to compete for Colby’s heart.But he’d take his body instead.

One evening, Don asked Colby to come over to his apartment on some work pretext.Waiting for Colby to arrive, Don paced around his apartment, reminding himself how much fun they’d had that one weekend before he messed things up.

When Colby came, Don shut the door behind him then pressed Colby up against the wall, his hands on Colby’s chest, his mouth finding Colby’s.

At first, everything was fine – Colby responded, pulling Don close and kissing him back.

Then Colby stiffened and pushed Don gently away.“I’m sorry, Don. I can’t.”

“Why not?” Don said, moving close again, his fingers on Colby’s neck.

“You know why not,” Colby sighed.“Charlie.”

“Charlie doesn’t have to know,” Don said, rubbing his palms against Colby’s strong chest.

“Don, no.”Colby said, pushing Don away more firmly.“I promised Charlie.”

“Your body is saying yes,” Don said, sliding his hand down to Colby’s crotch. _He can’t say no.He wants me, he has to._

“Don,” Colby said uneasily.“Don’t do this.”

“You want it,” Don said tensely. _If he’ll just give in, he’ll see…_

“It doesn’t matter if I want it or not,” Colby said.“I’d love to be with you again, but I promised Charlie that there would be no one else.”

“Oh yes, _Charlie_ ,” Don snapped.“Always gets what he wants.What does it matter what I want? _He’s_ the important one, _he’s_ the genius.And I’m just something you toss aside when you’ve gotten what you want.”

“It’s not like that,” Colby protested.“I never meant to hurt you, we just—“

Abruptly, Colby went quiet and cold.“Don?What are you doing?”

Don blinked and looked down at his hand.He was holding Colby’s gun.He stared at it, mesmerized by its sleek power.With it, he could make Colby love him again.He looked up at Colby and Colby’s eyes went hard at whatever he saw on Don’s face.

Colby shoved Don back and punched him in the mouth.Don stumbled backwards and Colby snatched the gun from Don’s hand. __

Pain cleared the haze from Don’s head.Don touched his mouth and stared at Colby, horror crashing in on him. _I almost … I wanted to …_

Don’s vision blurred and his stomach heaved. He ran to the bathroom, fell to the floor, and vomited into the toilet.“Oh, God,” he moaned in self-loathing and despair. “Oh, God.”He looked blearily up.Colby was standing in the doorway with his fists clenched.“I’m so sorry, Colby, I’m so sorry.”

Colby stood silently for a moment then his fists relaxed.He shook his head.“It’s been a little weird, I know, because we were together and all.David and I are the ones who got you started on this whole thing, and I don’t regret it and I hope to God you don’t either.But you need to understand that I’m Charlie’s now, body and soul.”

“I know,” Don mumbled.“You’re Charlie’s Charlie’s Charlie’s.”

Colby grimaced.“Let’s forget about this completely.”Then his face grew hard again.“But don’t ever take my gun like that again.And listen when someone tells you ‘no.’”

Don remembered how the gun had felt in his hand and his stomach heaved again.

Colby tucked his shirt back in and said with forced cheerfulness, “Gotta go.See you at work tomorrow.”

Don turned back to the toilet and didn’t answer.He heard Colby open the apartment door and shut it quietly behind him.He rested his cheek on the porcelain and listened to the silence filling up his apartment.He remembered his wild certainty that Colby did want it, that he just needed a little convincing, that he’d be happy once he gave in. _So this is what rapists feel like_ and Don’s whole body shuddered.He stumbled to his feet, wiped his face, and hoped there was enough beer in the world to wash the foul taste out of his mouth.

 

Don called in sick to work the next day, and the next.He drank through his substantial supply of beer, but could still think, still feel the sick helplessness inside.He ordered pizza delivery from a place that he knew would also deliver beer.He ate one piece of the pizza and drank all three of the six packs.He wished he’d ordered more.

He sat on the couch and gazed unseeing at the flickering TV.He wondered if he needed to call in sick to work again but couldn’t remember what day it was or if he’d already called.

There was a knock on his door.Had he ordered pizza again?Maybe he did.The prospect of more beer got him off the couch and stumbling to the door.He opened the door and focused, frowning, on the person outside the door.

“You’re not the pizza guy,” he told his father.

“Don!” Alan said, his voice shocked.“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?”Don said, weaving back to his couch.“I’m out of beer, that’s what’s wrong.”

Alan followed Don in and shut the door behind him.“Megan called me and I’m glad she did.What did you do to your mouth?You look awful.”

“I’m out of beer,” Don explained with what felt like remarkable patience.He began picking up empty beer bottles and shaking them, wondering if he’d missed a swallow anywhere.

“Don, when’s the last time you ate?”

“Pizza,” Don said, pointing to the cold and mostly whole pizza.He returned to checking the beer bottles.He’d lost track of which bottles he’d checked and started over again.

“Forget food for now,” Alan said. “When’s the last time you slept?”

“No more beer,” Don said sadly, reaching the end of the bottles.

“No more beer,” Alan agreed firmly.“Let’s just get you to bed.”

He took Don’s arm and tried to steer him towards the bedroom.Don pulled back fearfully.The bedroom, his bed, was empty empty empty.He couldn’t sleep there.Never again.“No bed!” he cried.

“Okay, okay,” Alan said soothingly.“How about you sleep here, on the couch?”

“Couch.”Don said and sat down on the couch.He began picking up and shaking the empty beer bottles again. 

“Let me take care of that,” Alan said, gently prying the bottle out of Don’s hand.He cleared the pile of bottles onto the floor.He disappeared then quickly returned, carrying a pillow and a blanket.He placed the pillow on the end of the couch. “You just lay down here.”

Don stared at the pillow then lowered his head to the soft surface.Maybe he had drank enough so that he wouldn’t see Colby’s face when he closed his eyes, see that look of disgust and anger.

Alan reappeared with a wet washcloth.He carefully dabbed at Don’s mouth and Don was surprised to see blood come away.Oh right, Colby had hit him.Days ago.He’d deserved it.

“Deserved it,” Don mumbled.

“Shh,” Alan said and pulled the blanket over Don.

Don grabbed his hand. “Don’t leave me, too!”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Alan said, patting Don’s shoulder.He sat down on the floor next to the couch and picked up an old newspaper.“Now, sleep.”

“Okay, Dad.”Don closed his eyes.Before Colby’s face could appear, Alan rustled the newspaper and banished it.Don dropped into unconsciousness.

  



	2. Plummeting downward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don tries to shock his father with the truth.

Part 2 – Plummeting downward

 

/… _How many dreams you’ve chased_ …/

Don woke up … and wished he hadn’t.His head ached and his mouth tasted like shit.He pried his eyes open a slit and winced as the morning light lanced into his pupils.

Eyes almost closed, he looked around.His father was asleep in the nearby easy chair.Don felt a guilty for making the older man sleep in a chair, but he was glad that he was still close by.

Don sat up and groaned as his head tried to explode.

Alan stirred and said, “Good morning.”

Don groaned again and pressed his hands to his temples.

Alan smiled silently and went to make some coffee.

Don just sat there, his head in his hands, until he smelled a mug of hot coffee nearby.He reached for it and downed it in a few gulps, ignoring the burn in his mouth and throat.He handed the empty mug back to his father.

Alan’s nose wrinkled.“Now, a shower.”

Don grumbled, “Don’t wanna.”

“You go in and take a shower,” Alan warned, “Or I’ll take you in there myself, just like a baby.”

Don grumbled louder but he’d gotten a whiff of his stench too.He peeled himself off the couch and staggered towards the bathroom.He was happy to find that his father had cleaned up the bathroom while he slept, erasing the smell of vomit with bleach.

While Don showered then dragged a razor ineffectually over his stubble, he could hear his dad tidying up the rest of the apartment.Beer bottles chinked into the recycle bin, dirty dishes piled into the sink, and the coffee maker dribbled out another cup.

Don gave up on making himself presentable and just threw on a t-shirt and sweats.He found his father in his small kitchen, washing out his coffee mug.Don sat silently at the table and watched his father go through the familiar motions of cleaning the cup and pouring it full of more black coffee.He set the steaming coffee mug down on the table in front of Don, pulled out a chair and sat down next to him.

“You ready to talk to me?”Alan asked.

Don dragged the mug closer but didn’t drink.His father was sitting there, waiting, the expression on his face saying that he could handle whatever Don had to say.A bitter taste surged into Don’s mouth.He suddenly had the compulsion to hurt his father, shock him, show him that the world wasn’t an understandable place.

“That person that Charlie has been sleeping with?”Don said with almost a snarl.“It’s no girl, it’s Colby, Colby Granger, my agent.A _man_.”

“I know,” Alan said quietly. “I’m just waiting until Charlie is ready to tell me.”

Don stared at him, his anger draining away.“You know?”

“You’re not the only one with investigation skills.”

Don nodded slowly.

“It bothers you a lot that your brother is with a man?” Alan asked.

Don sighed.“No, I mean it was weird but I’m mostly okay with it.”

“But …” Alan made a gesture at Don’s state.

Don looked down at the table. He knew his father, knew that he would ask and listen and wait until he discovered what was wrong with Don.His father always had the right thing to say in response, some way to reorient Don, help him with whatever was wrong. _Not this time._

Taking a shaky breath, Don said at last.“Colby was _mine_ and I messed it up.And now he’s completely Charlie’s and I can never have him again and … and I think I was falling in love with him.”

There was silence as he waited for the explosion from his father.Finally he had to look up.Alan was watching him calmly.

“You’re not surprised.”Don eyed his father.“Why are you not surprised? About either of us?”

“Charlie, your mother and I were pretty sure about from an early age.You’re not going to want to hear this but he’s been fixated on you all his life.”

Don leaned back, confused.“You mean—“

“I mean that instead of looking to his parents, Charlie always saw you as the source of safety, comfort, even approbation.We thought that he’d need someone who would give him those things.A … well, a Don replacement.”

Don blinked.

“When you were in Albuquerque and Charlie lived with Susan, we hoped we were wrong.It’s a lot easier to get along in this world if you’re ‘typical’.Then you came back from Albuquerque and it was like a light went back on in Charlie’s world.It probably was a little frightening to him.I think he was hiding from you a little too when he spent those weeks in the garage.”

“Huh,” was all Don could think to say.

“Colby, now Colby is a god-send.He’s just what Charlie has always wanted, always needed.I hope with all my heart that they’re together forever.”

Don sighed.“Yeah, he’s good for Charlie.”He frowned down at his hands, feeling utterly empty.

“You, on the other hand,” Alan said quietly, “we weren’t as sure.”

Don gawked at him.“Me?”

“Again, we hoped we were wrong.You were always so into girls.But there was something …”

“Something?”

“It’s hard to explain a parent’s instincts.”Alan shrugged.“We never thought you’d join the FBI so we obviously weren’t always right.But you’ve never been able to find long-term happiness with a woman.There was always an excuse, a reason to break it off.You could have made it happen with Kim if you really wanted.”

Don’s lips twisted.“Yeah.”

“Then there was that new girl, Robin.You went out with her a few times then suddenly stopped.”

“I know, I know.”

“It was your mother’s personal belief that you wouldn’t find happiness with anyone until you’d … how did she put it … ‘explored all the alternatives’.We tried to raise you two to understand that the kind of person you loved was more important than race, gender, religion, anything.”

Don stared at his father, at the horror of what he was saying so calmly. _Yes, Don, we always thought you might be bisexual, it just took you thirty-five years to figure it out._

Shuddering, Don buried his face in his hands.“Oh God, Dad, what am I going to do?”

Alan’s hand was on his shoulder, comforting and understanding as always.“Do what we all have to do in life.Look for love but go on without it if we must.”

For a moment, Don just sat with his face covered, drawing strength from the hand on his shoulder and his father’s calm acceptance.

Finally, he looked up and asked, “You really don’t mind?”

Alan shrugged.“I’m not going to lie to you and say that I wouldn’t prefer you to bring home some nice girl.There’s way too much testosterone in this family as it is.But what’s more important is that you have someone, someone special in your life.”Alan added quietly, “Especially now that Charlie has someone.”

Don stared unseeing at his coffee cup.“Yeah,” he said.He’d gotten used to – what did his father call it – Charlie’s fixation.In the last month, that fixation had already started to move on to Colby and Don had to admit he missed it … a lot.He was only beginning to realize that while Charlie might have seen Don as a source of strength and comfort, Don had always seen Charlie as a source of energy and optimism.All the light had gone out of his life, just when he needed it most.


	3. Falling into darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don tries to get on with his life - and makes the first in a series of very bad decisions.

A/N:The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place."  For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html).  
  


 

Part 3 – Falling into darkness

 

/… _Across sand and sky and gravel_ …/

Don went back to work the next Monday.He just said that he’d had the flu and ignored the questioning looks from Colby.

In order to function, Don bottled himself up tightly, clamping down on all emotions, personal thoughts, and fears about the future.He found himself snapping at his team more often and tried to monitor his behavior.That’s how he felt – a disconnected entity outside his own body, watching himself go through the day, work cases, eat, sleep, then do it again.

In the course of one investigation, he heard about a gay bar named Titan that was supposed to be a good place to meet, well, gays.It was far enough out of Don’s neighborhood that he didn’t think anyone would recognize him.

_Why the hell not?_

The next Friday night that Don had free, he went to Titan.It turned out to be a decent looking place, fairly close to Hollywood.He parked, took a deep breath, and got out of the car.

Before he even made it to the door of the bar, he’d seen three different gorgeous, fashionable men heading the same way. _This is a bad idea …_ He was just dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt and felt outclassed.He was uncomfortable which made him mad, and he walked into the bar radiating danger.

His eyes adjusted to the dim light and he made a beeline for a bar stool.He took a stool and the bartender immediately came over, even though the bar was busy and many others were waving for his attention.The bartender was a big blond man, which reminded him of Colby, which made him angrier.

“What do you have on tap?” Don snapped before the bartender could speak.

“Guinness, Bud Light, Bass, Sapporo, Foster’s, Sam Adams—“

“Guinness.”

A foaming mug was quickly placed in front of Don.Don picked it up and swung around to survey the room.

A number of eyes which had been fixed on him hastily looked away.Except for one man.

Don met the eyes of an Asian man with long dark hair, sitting at a table on the other side of the room.The man’s gaze burned through Don, utterly intense, utterly _now_.Then the man looked away and became just another attractive man in a room full of attractive men.Don blinked and decided that he must have been imagining things.

Don examined the Asian man. He was wearing black jeans and a white collared shirt, unbuttoned enough to show a smooth strong chest.He was taller than Don by a few inches, with a muscular but not bulky body.He had the body of a dancer or a gymnast. _Or_ , Don thought, remembering that intense gaze, _a very good martial artist._ The man’s long black hair was mostly caught up in a tail at the back of his neck but a few strands fell free to frame his tanned face with its strong cheekbones and full mouth.Don decided even in a room of attractive men, this man stood out.Don was quite proud of himself for being able to acknowledge, if just to himself, the physical appeal of another man. 

“Hello,” a male voice said next to Don.Don turned to see a red head, pleasant in a pretty sort of way.“Haven’t seen you here before.”

“Nope,” Don said.He almost left it at that but reminded himself he was here to meet people.“You a regular?”

The red head settled onto the stool next to Don.“Most Fridays.It’s a good way to blow off steam after work.”

“What do you do?” _Great start, interrogating him._

The red head didn’t seem to mind.“Work in an electronics repair store. But,” he gave Don an abashed smile, “Like everyone else I’m really trying to be an actor.”

“Ah,” Don said but he smiled as he said it and the red head relaxed.

“What do you do – No, let me guess, you’re either a cop or a hit-man.”

Don’s smile widened.“Lucky for you that I’m a cop or else I’d have to kill you for guessing my secret.”

“Good thing,” the red head said, leaning closer.

Somehow, an hour and several drinks later, Don was in the men’s bathroom, up against the wall, with the red head’s mouth wrapped around his cock.He hadn’t even asked the man’s name or told him his own.For some reason, that hadn’t come up in the last heated hour of seduction and innuendo.

The man was very skilled.He’d even slid the condom over Don using just his mouth.He hadn’t kissed or otherwise touched Don, just gone straight for his zipper.He sucked Don while pumping his own cock.Don buried his hands in the red hair and enjoyed the man’s tongue and lips.The man had short hair and if Don closed his eyes, he could imagine that it was Colby on his knees in front of him.

All too quickly, the man’s clever mouth brought Don gasping into orgasm.The man followed it with his own orgasm, squeezing his cock and panting around Don’s still throbbing cock.

Don rested his head against the wall as the other stood up and cleaned himself off.

The man looked at his watch and grumbled.“Gotta go,” he said, wiping his hands on a paper towel.

Don blinked at him.The orgasm had been nice but not intense. _Maybe if he’d touched me more…_ “Hey, how do I—“

The red head interrupted him with a sad smile.“Happily married.”Then he left.

Don stripped off his used condom and dropped it in the trash, probably to join many others.He zipped up his pants and went to the sink to wash his hands.A wave of despair washed over him and he grabbed the sides of the sink to keep himself standing.He closed his eyes and tried to recapture that wonderful post-sex feeling he’d found before with David and Colby.Nothing.He felt completely empty.

So this was his future.Blows by strangers in bar bathrooms.Charlie gets love and he just gets-- _No._ _There has to be some way to feel again._ He pushed himself away from the sink and headed towards the door.

If Don had turned at that moment and looked behind him, he would have seen someone in the shadows, watching him.If he had stopped and talked to that person, the next month might have gone very differently.But he didn’t turn, didn’t stop.

And maybe if he had, things would have gone to hell anyway.


	4. Dropping through shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don finds a dangerous new way to try to cut through his numbness.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 4  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 4 - Dropping through shadows

 **Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM, Torture. Do not read if you are under 18.**

 **A/N:** This is part of what looks like it will be a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working.

_**Disclaimer:This section is not in any way meant to be an indictment of BDSM.On the contrary, I believe that BDSM can be very stimulating and empowering.Those who have read my other stories, especially A Week in Watson, know that I think power play can be quite erotic.This story is a fictional case of an irresponsible club, several careless Doms, one amoral Dom, and a sub who is in the wrong place with the wrong attitude and no real understanding of his role.Later sections of this story will also hopefully make my attitude on the subject clear.**_

/… _Looking for one safe place_ …/

Over the next few weeks, Don felt more and more numb, more disconnected from his own body.It was affecting his work and at least he had enough presence of mind to stop going out on anything where he might get someone else killed.He wasn’t particular worried about getting himself killed.The universe wouldn’t allow him such an easy out.

Megan tried to talk to him many times, but he brushed her off.Colby tried to talk to him too but Don just said he was fine.Even Charlie stumblingly asked him if he was okay and Don had forced a smile onto his face and asked about Charlie’s latest work.

Don went back to Titan several times a week, though never on Friday nights.He didn’t want to see the red head again, just someone else he couldn’t have.He met other men and did the barstool-to-bathroom dance with a few of them, with no better results.He kept his eyes open but didn’t see the Asian man again.

On a Tuesday night, he sat at his usual barstool and surveyed his prospects.The bartender handed him a Guinness without asking and Don drank it without thought.He nodded a greeting to a few other regulars.Not much of a crowd tonight.Maybe he should just focus on his beer.

When the bartender brought him his second Guinness, Don said, “Pretty dead tonight.”

The bartender nodded and leaned against the counter.“Tuesday nights half the usual suspects are at a munch.”

“A what?”

The bartender looked surprised then uncomfortable.“A munch. A group of people who are into certain things meeting together at a vanilla place.”

Don frowned, trying to understand. “What sort of ‘certain things?’”

“You know, BDSM.”

Don blinked, the meaning of the word swimming to the surface of his mind.“Oh.” Don interest was peaked. _Something new._ “How do I … join this munch?”

The bartender shrugged.“I don’t know how to get in touch with that one group but I do know of a club.”He turned to his cash register and fished out a business card.He handed it to Don then went to help another customer.

Don picked up the card.It was a simple but elegant business card with the words “The Chamber” on it plus an address near downtown West Hollywood.He tucked it in his pocket, finished his beer, and left.

  


The next night, Don drove to the address and spent a moment parked outside, looking at the building.It looked like a nice office building.There was no gaudy neon sign or half-naked dancers.The only confirmation that it was The Chamber was a discreet gold plaque near the door, like a gentlemen’s club.

Don got out, locked his car and strode to the door.He didn’t allow himself any hesitation or anxiety.Whatever was on the other side of this door, he could handle.

Inside was a small lobby area and a receptionist, looking for all the world like a doctor’s office.He stepped up the reception desk, which was manned by a young attractive man.

“Can I help you?” the receptionist asked.

“Yeah, I um,” Don fished the business card out of his pocket and showed it to the young man.“A friend sent me here, thought I’d like it.”

“A friend?”

“Max.He’s a bartender at Titan.”

“Ah, Max,” the receptionist nodded and relaxed, looking like Don had passed some initial qualification test.“Here is information about our club,” the young man said briskly, handing Don a clipboard with paperwork and a pen attached.“If you’re still interested, fill out the paperwork and bring it back up to me.”

Don took the proffered clipboard and took a nearby seat.He read over the club policy and motto.It was the usual private club rigmarole -- you will treat other club members with respect, you will not discuss the club with non-members, you are responsible if you damage any equipment, you will not reveal any of the secret club rituals … Okay, it didn’t actually say anything about rituals but that’s the vibe Don got from it.It all seemed surreal, formal, like it had been written by lawyers, not … well … people just interested in sex.

Don shrugged and flipped the paper over.Underneath was a form and Don quickly filled it out.He put in “Don Sanger”, an alias he’d used before, and a mailing address that looked like a street address but was really a post office box set up for undercover work.He answered the health questions truthfully, not a good idea to lie there.When he got to the section that asked “Dom” or “sub”, he didn’t hesitate before checking “sub”.He’d had a taste of both in Watson and while they’d both been fun, the sub experience had been more intense.The next page was a long release of liability form that Don skimmed through then signed, “Don Sanger”.

The last page was about club dues and this did cause Don to hesitate.It was a pretty hefty fee to join the club, but he guessed they needed to collect large dues to support this fancy building.Luckily, he’d cashed his paycheck today and hadn’t had time to deposit the cash yet.It covered the dues, barely.

_Well, what else am I going to spend my money on?Hookers?More beer?_

He took the wad of cash and completed paperwork up to the desk and the receptionist gave him a bright smile.“Welcome to The Chamber, Mr. Sanger.If you’ll just wait a moment, one of the other members will be out to greet you.”

After a few minutes, the inner door opened and out came a large muscular black man.He held out his hand.“Hi, I’m Ragan.”

Don stood up and shook the hand.Ragan’s grip was painfully tight.“I’m Don.”

“Okay, let me show you around.”

Ragan waved Don in through the door and shut it behind him.They were in a large, plushly lined hallway.Along the wall were black and white prints of men in various positions of bondage.Ragan walked down the hall and Don followed.They passed many doors and Don glanced into the open rooms.He saw rooms decorated like posh hotel rooms, medieval dungeons, a child’s bedroom, settings he couldn’t identify, and even one that seemed to be a barnyard.All of the rooms shared a bewildering array of equipment that Don couldn’t fathom the use of.

As he walked down the hall, Don heard moans and groans from the closed rooms. _Most_ of the noises sounded like people having a pleasurable time …

Ragan turned down another hallway and showed him more rooms.The place was huge.At the end of yet another hallway, Ragan pushed open a swinging door.Beyond was a large locker room, complete with lockers, showers, and a rack of different sizes of bathrobes.

“You can use any locker that has a key in the lock.Change out of your clothes, get into a bathrobe and meet me back at room QW.Can you find that?”

“Yeah,” Don said, moving into the locker room.

Ragan gave him a stern stare.“When you come out of this room, you will only call me ‘Master’ and I will call you whatever I feel like.”

Don nodded.Ragan left and Don stood just there in the locker room for a moment. _What am I doing here?_ _Why would I want to put myself in the hands of a total stranger?_ Ragan looked like he could do serious damage if he wanted to.He probably could even wrestle Colby to the ground.

 _Colby …_ Anger and despair propelled him across the room and to a locker.He quickly got undressed and put his wallet, phone and car keys in the locker with his clothes.He wrapped a bathrobe around himself, slid the locker key into the pocket, and went in search of room QW.

He found the room and opened the door.The floor and the walls of the room were carpeted with a thick plush that immediately muffled the outside world.The only equipment seemed to be a large wooden chair, though it had hooks in unexpected places.Don stepped inside and shut the door behind him.A door on the far wall opened and Ragan emerged.He had changed into black leather pants with an elaborately studded codpiece and a black mesh shirt that emphasized his muscular chest.

“Take off your robe, slut.”

Don silently dropped the robe.

Ragan’s eyes raked Don’s body as he said, “Your safeword is ‘surfboard.’”

Don nodded.“Do you want me to—“

“Shut up!” Ragan snapped.“The only thing that should come from your mouth is ‘Yes, Master’.

“Yes, Master,” Don said obediently.Okay, so he wasn’t allowed to ask questions.He hoped that Ragan would tell him what to do, and not punish him for being ignorant.When he’d been under Colby and David’s hands, they’d moved him physically or gave simple commands.He didn’t know what the protocol was here and hated feeling ignorant.This was supposed to be pleasurable, right?

Ragan grabbed his shoulder and shoved him to his knees.Don fought the urge to defend himself, like his training told him to.Ragan put his hands on Don’s ass and spread his asscheeks.He wondered if Ragan was going to fuck him.He thought that could be okay.But instead Ragan slid something hard, plastic, and lubricated into his ass.Don shifted around the sensation.It was about two fingers thick and lightly rubbed against his prostate.

Then Ragan began.Don wasn’t involved somehow.He felt more like an observer than participant.He watched himself get strapped into place over the wooden chair, his ass in the air.Various things were attached to his body, from small clips on his nipples to a metallic cage around his cock and balls.The butt plug was removed and Don dispassionately watched himself get paddled, his ass turning pink.He watched the teasing and tormenting of his cock until he was finally allowed to orgasm.It was nice but not intense, like the red head in Titan’s bathroom.There was something there, a hint of feeling that gave Don hope.He just needed to go deeper to find it.He knew, before he stumbled to the locker room to get dressed, that he would be back.   


  


Don came back two days later, and was surprised to find that while Ragan was there, Don was going to be under another Dom.He thought that some sort of relationship should be built up, but what did he know?He shrugged, got into the robe, and went looking for his new master.

This man was smaller, slighter, and he immediately blindfolded Don.He employed handcuffs and a whip.The man brought him to a long, agonizing orgasm, but it was still not enough.

The third visit brought yet another Dom, new rooms, new toys, but the same effect.Don went back to The Chamber every other day for the next two weeks, allowing a day in between to heal and recover.He was shuffled from Dom to Dom.Feeling somehow eluded him, always just beyond his reach.He pushed harder, asked for more, hoping that someone could break through the heavy numbness and find his heart again.


	5. Rock bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don is in the hands of a very dangerous psychopath, and he can't seem to care.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 5  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 5 - Rock bottom

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
 **Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
 **Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM, Torture. Do not read if you are under 18.**

**A/N:** This is part of what looks like it will be a 23 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... My Will Stevens is like [Will Yun Lee](http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i182/irena_adler/LJ/Will_BW.jpg) but a little taller and more filled out, like [Rick Yune](http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i182/irena_adler/LJ/RickModelling-part.jpg).  


  
**_Disclaimer:This section is not in any way meant to be an indictment of BDSM.On the contrary, I believe that BDSM can be very stimulating and empowering.Those who have read my other stories, especially A Week in Watson, know that I think power play can be quite erotic.This story is a fictional case of an irresponsible club, several careless Doms, one amoral Dom, and a sub who is in the wrong place with the wrong attitude and no real understanding of his role.Later sections of this story will also hopefully make my attitude on the subject clear._ **

Part 5 – Rock bottom

/… _Will you make a smoother landing.../_

 

On a Friday night, Don entered a room he hadn’t been in before.It was bare of ornamentation, except for the straps, hooks, pulleys, and ropes that were attached to the walls.The floor was bare concrete.

The door on the far wall opened and in stepped a man.Don snapped to attention.The man was of average height and appearance, but there was something in his face, an aura that surrounded him, that Don had only experienced before in an FBI interrogation room.

“So you’re the sub no one can reach,” the man said and his voice was silk.“My name is Channing.You will call me Channing, not Master.You will scream my name very soon.”

Channing stepped closer, his movements smooth and confident.“I can give you what you want,” he said, circling around behind Don. Don felt his breath on his cheek and Channing murmured in his ear, “You want no limits, no restrictions, no safewords.”

Don nodded.Maybe here was finally someone who could get him to feel.A tiny voice in his mind, the part that could still think, growled, _This man is dangerous.He’s got the eyes of a killer._ Don ignored the voice - he’d gotten very good at that - and dropped his robe.

The smile that spread across Channing’s face should have set off alarm bells, but Don bowed his head and waited.

Channing grabbed Don’s chin and jerked it up.“You will beg for me.Those other _Doms,_ ” he sneered, “Treated you too nice.You need a real man.By the time I’m done with you, you will be crying like a baby.” 

Reaching behind Don, Channing slid a leather hood over Don’s head.Channing’s malicious grin was that last thing that Don would see for a long time.The hood’s large plastic ball gag fit into his mouth, pressing against his tongue.He felt the hood snap into place around his neck.Darkness and silence descended on him, but not for long.Channing grabbed Don’s neck and slammed him up against the wall behind him.Don instinctively held up his hands to ward off the attack and Channing tied his hands up above his head.The restraints were thin, narrow cord and Don could feel them cutting into his wrists.

Channing quickly tied Don’s ankles to the wall with the same wire-like cord.Don’s feet were tied so tight that he had to stand on his tiptoes and press his heels against the wall or suffer the restraints digging deep into the front of his ankle.

“Good.” Channing said, “Now let’s get you accessorized.”

Clicks and pinches told Don that Channing was attaching clips to his skin.He started with the nerve-rich spots under Don’s elbows and under his arms then found every sensitive spot along his chest and stomach, down his hips and legs.He returned to Don’s chest and Don bit into his gag as Channing fastened something very tight and very heavy to his nipples.

Channing lifted up Don’s flaccid cock.“Can’t neglect this, can we?”Don’s back arched and he groaned in pain as Channing pushed something thin and metallic _into_ the hole at the end of Don’s cock and down the narrow canal inside it.Don held back the whimper that threatened to escape.He wasn’t going to give Channing the satisfaction.The cool feel of metal snapped around the base of his balls then a heavy weight pulled his balls downward.

The sound of a lever and suddenly the cord around Don’s ankles was loose.He placed his feet flat on the floor with relief.His relief was short lived though when Channing pulled his hips away from the wall, spread his asscheeks and shoved something dry, long and very large into his ass.Pain slammed through his body, much much worse than his first time getting fucked.Don screamed around his gag and Channing laughed.

Don whimpered softly as Channing fastened something leather around his hips, holding the huge object in place in his ass.

Don’s leg restraints went tight again and he scrambled back to his tiptoe position.The dry butt plug pressed more into his ass and he moaned.

That still-rational part of him was shouting, _Don, you goddamned idiot!Give what he wants and get the fuck out of here!_ The rest of him waited for Channing would do next, both wanting and dreading it.He deserved the worst that anyone could do to him.He was sick, dead, lost.Maybe if Channing hurt him enough, he would punch through that thick wall that surrounded Don’s emotions.

Channing attached more clips, this time to his cock.Don bit into his gag as Channing placed clips around the head of his cock, down both sides and along the very sensitive ridge just below the head.

“There,” Channing said with satisfaction.“Now, don’t we look pretty.”

Don held himself tightly in place, all muscles straining, since any movement caused an increase in pain.Then Don heard a crack of a whip.

The stinging slap of leather against his chest came quickly then set up a regular rhythm.The whip ranged from his chest to his feet, not neglecting Don’s pinned and stretched balls and cock.Each stroke hit several of the clips studded across his body and added jerks of pain to every stroke.

The whipping stopped and Don tried to catch his breath.

“Beg for me,” Channing said in his ear, “And maybe I’ll stop.”

_I still can’t feel anything.I should be afraid but I’m not_.Don shook his head and Channing chuckled with delight, “I didn’t think you’d be so easy.”

The sound of a lever and suddenly the restraints which held Don’s wrists above his head loosened.His numb arms dropped before Don could stop them, smashing clips into his sides.Another lever and his leg restraints were lose too.

“Come here, my special slut,” Channing cooed.“I have something in mind just for you.”

Channing took Don’s shoulder and shoved him so that he stumbled forward, the weights attached to his nipples and balls swinging painfully.Channing grabbed his hood and jerked him to a particular place on the floor.Quickly his wrists and legs restraints were refastened and he was spread-eagled in space.This time Don had to stretch his legs wide apart or else the cords around his legs cut into the insides of his ankles.At least this position made the thing in his ass fractionally less painful.

The idea of fractions made him think of Charlie then Colby then sex then perversion.A wave of despair and self-loathing swept over him.He almost welcomed the feel of Channing on his back.Channing placed clips all up and down Don’s back, ass, and legs, finding more nerve endings than Don knew he possessed.Then came the whip.

Channing must have more room to swing since the whip came down much harder, and the ends of the whip wrapped around Don’s body to dig welts into his chest.When the whip contacted his ass and moved the object buried inside, Don couldn’t help groaning.He took a firmer grip on the gag.The pain in his body wasn’t relevant to him.Nothing mattered. _I think you’ll notice if he kills you!_ said that annoying persistent voice.He wished it would shut up and let the physical pain override his emotional pain.

After a while, Channing seemed to get bored with the whip, since he wasn’t getting the reaction he wanted from Don.

“Don’t worry, slut,” Channing purred, “I have many more things to try.At any time, just nod your head and I’ll know that you’re ready to beg for me.”

Don closed his eyes under the mask and waited for the next thing.This had long ago ceased to be about sex or pleasure.He was locked in a battle of wills with his tormentor, a battle he would lose if he begged.He had lost at everything else, he couldn’t lose at this. _What stupid battle?_ said that internal voice, though it was growing fainter, _Who cares about this garbage?_ _You’re smarter than this, Don!_

_No, I’m not,_ he told the voice. _I’m just an animal, a bundle of physical sensations._

A scent tickled Don’s nose, vanilla?The scent grew stronger, then Don cried out as the first drop of hot oil dripped onto his chest.It hissed there, over his breastbone, then another drop followed then another until his chest sizzled with small excruciating points of heat.

Channing was swearing at him and shaking him and Don realized that he’d blacked out as his body desperately attempted at escape.Channing took the oil away, though he didn’t wipe off the drops already on Don’s skin so they smoldered there, burning holes into Don’s skin.

“Don’t you dare faint on me again,” Channing snapped in his ear.

Don felt the edge of a knife slice across his right shoulder blade.He shuddered and Channing laughed.“Maybe this is your weakness…”

The knife slashed across Don’s left arm and Don felt the hot trickle of blood down his arm. _Beg! Beg!Nod your head!Do it!_ Don shook his head, thinking he’d gotten rid of that voice.

“Oh, a challenge,” Channing said mockingly and Don couldn’t tell him otherwise.The knife came down, again and again, along Don’s arms, down his back, across his ass and thighs and calves.The smell of blood filled the air.A brief respite, then Channing was around his front, cutting his chest, his hips, his legs.Don swayed in place and just existed.His attention idly followed individual drops of blood as they traced pathways around other cuts and joined other drops flowing down his body.

After an eternity of the knife, Channing snarled and suddenly released the tension on the restraints around Don’s wrists and ankles.Don began to collapse but before he could fall, Channing grabbed hold of his hood and shoved him to the floor.The floor was slick with warm blood.

“Crouch!” Channing demanded. 

Don tried to arrange his body which for some reason wasn’t responding very well to his commands.Pains seemed to be clamoring for his attention but he wasn’t sure why.Channing grabbed Don’s burning left shoulder and kicked his right leg until he was in the position he wanted, crouched down with his legs completely bent and his chest over his thighs.Don’s wrist and ankle ties were secured.Don’s legs immediately started trembling from the strain.

A scraping sound and Don felt something solid put under his left hand, a wooden stool perhaps.His fingers were spread out and tied into place.

“You will beg,” Channing said, his voice shaking with anger.“You will beg me to end your pain.Only I can give you release.”

Something heavy whooshed past his ear and shattered his left pinkie.Don screamed.

“Nod your head, you fucking slut!”Channing shouted.

Tears seemed to be pouring down Don’s face.To dilute the blood, perhaps?Though they were both salty so that didn’t make sense.

The heavy thing lifted from his broken pinkie.It came down again and shattered his left ring finger.Don screamed again and wondered if he had eight more screams left in him, or if Channing would then turn to other bones.

“Beg, you bitch!” Channing screeched, but Don wasn’t listening.A very familiar sound had penetrated his consciousness.

_Gunshots!_ Adrenaline struggled to burn through Don’s numbness.Above him, Channing cursed then there was thunk of the heavy thing hitting the floor.Channing moved away and Don heard the far door open and slam shut.

Don fought against his bonds but they were too tight and he was too weak.He could only listen to the gunshots and shouts and running feet.His dazed brain couldn’t even began to process why there would be shooting here, but ever fiber of his body screamed of pain, danger … and helplessness.


	6. Unexpected rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don is rescued from his terrible situation by a total stranger - or is he?

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 6  


**Pairing:** Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 6 - Unexpected rescue

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM, Torture. Do not read if you are under 18.**

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  


  


/… _When you break your fall from grace_ …/

 

The shooting faded away and stopped.Long moments of silence as Don struggled to hear over that annoying drip-drip of blood.

The door clicked open.Don turned his head towards the sound and heard a male voice swear fiercely. _Not Channing…_ But no one he recognized.

Don heard the door shut again and footsteps come near.

“ _Fuck_ , Don, what did you let him do to you?” the voice continued.“I should never have …”

Gentle fingers pried off his leather mask, freeing Don’s mouth and uncovering his eyes.Don blinked and a man’s face came into focus, looking vaguely familiar.

“It’s okay, Don,” the man murmured, his voice shaking slightly. “I’ll get you out of here.”He began to untie Don, working quickly and looking towards the door several times.

Don vaguely noticed that the floor was covered with blood and so was his body.He tried to get his mouth to work again.“Who …?” he managed.

“I’m Will Stevens.”The man responded while reaching behind Don and pulling the hard object out of Don’s ass.Agony slammed through Don’s body.The man was saying something else, something important, but the world spun away into darkness.  


 

Don woke suddenly, to an unknown bed in a dim unknown room, and his body burning in pain.He turned his head.An unfamiliar man was sitting in a chair nearby.No, he looked familiar – from the room where Channing had tied him up, but also from before … the Asian man that had gazed at him so intently at the bar.

“You were at Titan, the first time I went there,” Don said, and the Asian man nodded.“Who are you?What am I doing here?” Don tried to sit up, but found himself stuck to the sheet he was wrapped in and moving in any way worsened the spasms of pain that were shooting through him.Even talking hurt, his jaw ached and his mouth seemed to be full of sores.The fingers on his left hand were wrapped in a bloody towel.

The man half-stood then sat down quickly when Don struggled to sit up again.He held out his hands placatingly.“You’re badly hurt, just lie still.”

Don realized with a shock that what was sticking his skin to the sheets was his own blood.“Who are you?” he asked again through gritted teeth.

“Will Stevens.I’m DEA.”

Don gaped at him.“DEA?What …”

“The Chamber was a major drug front and we raided it tonight.”

_Right, the gunshots._

Will continued, “I found you and took you out of there.You’re at my house.I didn’t tell anyone else about you.I just wrapped you in a sheet and put you in my car.”His intense gaze rested on Don.“I know who you are, Don Eppes.”

Don blinked and then the import of what this Will Stevens was saying sunk in.If Don had been found there, in that situation and condition, it probably would have ended his career with the FBI.

Groaning with pain and his own stupidity, Don lay back against his pillow.

“How do you feel?”Will asked.

“Like I’ve been beat, whipped, burned, ripped, cut, and who knows what the hell else.”

“Dammit, why did you—“ Will bit down on whatever it was he was going to say and said instead, “You need medical attention but I figured leaving you unconscious until you came around yourself was probably the kindest thing to do.”

“Yeah,” Don said, wishing he was unconscious again.“But I can’t go to an emergency room.”He was sure they saw worse at the ER but there would have to be a paper trail, leading back to the FBI.

“Probably not,” Will said, his voice calm and even.“I can help you some.I used to be an EMT.But that can wait until the morning.You don’t seem to be in any immediate danger and I think … opening up your wounds at the moment would just send you into shock.”

“Why did you help me?”Don asked.

“I was at The Chamber undercover.At Titan too before that.I knew you had been coming to The Chamber but of all nights for you to fall into Channing’s hands …”Will shook his head.

“Well, thanks,” Don said.And tried again to get up.“I need to go …”He hesitated.Where could he go?He’d think of something.He needed to get out of this stranger’s house.“I need to go,” he repeated.

“I’m not taking you anywhere in that shape,” Will said firmly.

“Fine, I’ll call a cab.”

Will gave him a humorless smile.“I’m sure cabbies are used to worse fares, but the only phone in my house is my cell, and I always have that with me.If you can take if from me, you’re welcome to use it.”

Don stared at him.This man was holding him prisoner.No … Don’s own stupidity was holding him prisoner.Will had probably saved his career, and maybe even his life.Channing wasn’t going to stop until he got what he wanted and Don had been just as stubbornly determined not to give it to him.

Don sighed. _God, I’m such an idiot._ Still, there were some questions that he needed to ask.“So you were just at Titan undercover?”

“Mostly,” Will said, “But I already go there off and on so no one suspected me.”

“You’re gay?” _What a stupid and irrelevant question._

“Yep.”

“And DEA.”

“Yep.Wanna see my badge?”

Don nodded and Will gestured to the side table next to Don’s head.Don painfully reached over and retrieved a badge that had been lying there. _He knew I’d want to see it._ Don studied it and it looked legit, but it could just be a good fake.But what could Will possibly have to gain from pretending to be DEA? _Other than one very damaged FBI agent._ Don shook the suspicious thoughts from his head.Will hadn’t asked for anything.If he ever did, Don could reassess the situation then.Right now he just wanted to sleep for years.

Don stared at nothing and tried force some clear thinking through his pain-muddled head.It was Friday night so no one was expecting him back in the office until Monday.Unless they called, and Don’s cell phone, along with his wallet and clothes, were still back at his locker in the club.Don winced at the realization that the DEA sweep would find his wallet and ID.Maybe he should go back for it but it was probably too late …

“Sleep,” Will said with gentle firmness.“You can ask me for a phone again in the morning.”

Giving up the fight, Don fell into a deep exhausted sleep.


	7. The harsh light of day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don discovers how bad the damage is, and learns more about the man who saved him.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 7 

**Pairing:** Don/OMC [Will] 

**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17) 

**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 7 - The harsh light of day

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.

**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!

**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM, Torture. Do not read if you are under 18.**

****

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  


/… _Into the arms of understanding_ …/

Light streaming into the bedroom woke Don the next morning.He lay in the bed, blinking for a moment, remembering what had happened.Bile rose in his throat at the utter loathing he felt for himself.

For distraction, he looked around. The bedroom was medium-sized, its colors muted and masculine.On one wall was a photograph of a spectacular lightning strike and on another wall one that looked like the Northern Lights.The room’s owner was asleep in a chair across the room, his long legs stretched out before him, his arms folded across his chest, his head tipped forward and his long hair obscuring his face.Now would be a good time to snoop around and find out more about Will Stevens.

Don went to sit up and couldn’t suppress a groan as pain slammed through his body.Will’s head jerked up and he opened his eyes.

“Good morning,” Will said, standing and stretching.Don was briefly diverted by the sight of the long muscular body then he noticed dark stains on Will’s shirt and jeans.Blood.Don’s blood.

With a sense of dread, Don looked down at his body.It was still wrapped in the sheet but what he could see was caked with blood.Beneath the dried blood, his arms and shoulders were covered with angry red lines and the beginning signs of many bruises.His wrists were red and swollen from the restraints.

“Okay,” Will say with a definite lack of enthusiasm.“Guess we better see what you got yourself into.”

He came around the side of the bed and Don clutched his sheet around him.He didn’t want to see, and he certainly didn’t want this attractive stranger to see.

Will sighed and crouched down beside the bed, his eyes level with Don’s.“I told you that I was an EMT, right?I’ve picked up people from The Chamber before who were in worse shape than you, but then they were usually dead.”

Don raised his eyebrows and Will nodded.“LAPD Vice has kept an eye on them for a while but there hasn’t been anything they could prosecute.The Chamber has damn good lawyers.”He smiled with satisfaction.“Let’s see them get out of the drug charges.”

Don vaguely remembered signing a waiver that said the club couldn’t be held responsible for injury or death.He shuddered.

Will continued, “I’m overjoyed to see The Chamber get shut down.Ninety-nine percent of BDSM clubs are responsible organizations, concerned with the health of all their members, and dedicated to _safe_ power play.But it’s that last one percent that harbors monsters like Channing that are the most frightening, especially if someone goes in there thinking that the club will look after him. I don’t know if The Chamber has even heard of a Dungeon Monitor.

“I bet Channing told you that you didn’t need limits or a safe word.”At Don’s slight nod, Will gritted his teeth.“I bet he also made you think that you were only there for his pleasure.That’s not the way it should work, you should be his partner, not his … piece of meat.I bet you had no idea what your role was supposed to be, nobody explained it to you. Your first Dom was Ragan, right?Total wannabe. Goddamned _filthy_ club.

Will put one hand on the bed near Don and said with quiet passion, “I was worried when I found out that you were being called the sub no one could reach.Then that night I found out you were under that sick bastard and I was terrified.There’s been more than one body carried out of his dungeon.I was so relieved when I finally got that last piece of evidence I needed to call in the raid.I didn’t want to have to explain to anyone how I let a fellow Fed get tortured and murdered right under my nose.

“Now please,” Will asked.“Let me see?”

Don closed his eyes, feeling even more like a fool than before.He released his grip on the sheets.He clenched his teeth as Will peeled the sheet away from his chest.Will sucked in his breath and Don forced his eyes open again.

From the shoulders down, his body was covered with dried blood.The sides of his rib cage sported large welts where the end of the whip had wrapped around his back.His upper chest was covered with burns – red, swollen, and moist.Blisters had developed in many places, signaling second-degree burns.At least the burns all still hurt, which meant that no nerves were damaged.Knife slashes started out in a pattern on his left shoulder then grew deeper and more erratic as they crisscrossed his chest and down his stomach. _Probably Channing was getting more and more frustrated._ Pink angry whip-scored skin showed between the slashes.Bruises were beginning to appear everywhere, especially clustered around his nipples and at each joint. _An anatomy student could use the bruises to map my nervous system._

With a grimace, Don looked lower.His cock and balls were red and inflamed and severely bruised.His legs were repeats of his arms, with whip scores, bruises and knife slashes, but the restraint wounds around his ankles were much worse than his wrists.Thick caked blood stretched from his ankles to his feet and hid whatever wounds were underneath. __

Will examined Don’s body with a professional detachment that Don appreciated.Will’s gentle fingers inspected each area, including lifting Don’s cock and balls to check for further injuries.He gestured for Don to turn over and Don did with a great deal of pain.Don hid his face in the pillow as Will looked over his back.Don knew that his back, thighs, and ass would be covered with whip welts, knife cuts, and maybe even a few burns.He’d lost track of what Channing had been doing.

“Damn,” Will said as he carefully separated Don’s bloody ass cheeks.“You’ve got multiple first-degree anal tears.That _bastard_.”

Don’s head shot up at the raw anger in Will’s voice but Will was looking away, his hair covering his face.By the time he turned his face back so that Don could see it, Will looked calm.

“Let me see your mouth,” he said and Don opened his lips.Will gripped his chin and turned him towards the light.“You must have had one helluva death grip on that gag,” Will commented in an almost conversational tone.“You’ve got sores from your tongue to your gums to inside your cheeks.I bet your jaw aches too.”

Don shut his mouth and nodded.

“So,” Will said in that odd chatty voice.“Burns, bruises, cuts, abrasions.Along with at least two broken fingers.Not to mention your muscles are probably very sore and you’ve lost a lot of blood.The anal tears are the most worrisome since they can get infected very easily.”He stood up from the bed.“We need to get you cleaned up, so I can start plastering you with medication and bandages.”


	8. A gentle touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will begins the process of putting Don back together, body and soul.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 8  


**Pairing:** Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 8 - A gentle touch

 **Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM, Torture. Do not read if you are under 18.**

****

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  
  


 

/… _Looking for one safe place_ …/

Slowly, Will helped Don out of the bed.Don felt weak, shaky, and he had to lean heavily on Will, no doubt adding to the blood on Will’s clothing.They shuffled slowly over to the bathroom door.While Will leaned over to turn on the water for the tub, Don stared at himself in the mirror, horrified.Every inch of his skin that would normally be covered by clothing was red, bloody, and puffy.Other than his swollen lips, his face and neck were clear.His hands up to his wrists were unmarked, except of course for the broken fingers on his left hand.

“Into the tub,” Will said, breaking Don’s macabre self-inspection.Will assisted Don into the tub then lowered him into a sitting position.Don groaned as his raw skin hit the warm water. Will took a wet washcloth and began delicately giving Don a sponge bath.Don didn’t look at his own body, just watched Will’s face as he matter-of-factly cleaned Don’s naked body.Will’s sculptured face was tight with concentration and concern.Some strands of hair fell in his face while he worked and Don had the urge to brush them back, but he kept his hands to himself.

Will sat back and Don looked down.The bath water was red with blood, both old blood washed off and new blood from wounds reopened even under Will’s careful touch.Don’s ankles were the worst that he could see, though the steady stream of red seeping from behind him made him think that his ass injuries must be worse.

“Why are you doing this?”Don asked, his voice strained.

Will didn’t meet his eyes, just finished cleaning his back wounds.“I’ve been in your place, when I was younger.A friend helped me then, saved my life.”

“In my place …”Don raised his eyebrows.“At a BDSM club?”

“Yes,” Will said shortly, his tone making it clear he wouldn’t say more.He helped Don get back up and stood solid while Don clung to him, the room spinning. _I must really have lost a lot of blood._

Will helped Don step over the side of the tub and propped him up against the sink.Don closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see himself in the mirror again.He heard Will moving around then hissed in pain as Will began to treat his wounds.Will started with his arms and his shoulders then moved down his back.He bypassed Don’s ass for the moment, for which Don was grateful, and treated the back of Don’s legs.Don’s ankles he put salve on and wrapped heavily.He rotated Don around and did the same for his front, giving particular attention to the nastiest of his burns.

He took Don’s bloody left hand very gently and said, “This is going to hurt.”Don bit down on a whimper as Will placed a splint next to his pinkie then rapidly wrapped his whole hand together into one lump of bandages.

“I can’t do anything more for your fingers, I’m afraid,” Will said.

“Just one more thing,” Will said and turned Don back around.Don clenched his teeth tight as Will cleaned his anus with something that stung incredibly.He pressed a little way into Don’s asshole and Don blacked out.He came to a couple of seconds later and Will was holding him tight and smearing something cool on the torn interior.

“There,” Will said.“Hopefully that’s the worst of it.Now we just need to keep that clean and hope you don’t tear it further.”

“Tear it—Oh.”Don felt faint at the thought of defecating.Maybe if he never ate again …

Will walked Don into the bedroom and leaned him against the wall.Don held dizzily onto the wall while Will stripped the bloody sheets and mattress pad off of the bed.

“I’ll pay for those sheets,” Don said.

“I’m sure you will,” Will said, replacing the sheets with clean ones.He turned to his dresser and got out a loose pajama top and pants.

He walked over to Don and gestured for Don to lift up a foot.Don held on to Will’s strong shoulder and lifted one foot with its heavily bandaged ankle.He got that foot in and then the other and Will pulled the pants up over Don’s battered lower body.Will kneeled down in front of him and rolled the cuffs up a few times.He then stood and pulled the pajama top over Don’s tender arms and back.He buttoned the shirt carefully up, trying not to disturb the salve he’d just smeared on Don’s chest.

“Thanks,” Don said weakly.He was grateful for the small amount of dignity that the clothes gave him.

Will helped Don back to bed and Don clung to the bed and waited for the room to stop spinning.Will pulled the sheets up over him and left the room.Soon Don heard the sound of a coffee maker.Don stared at the ceiling and wondered how he had fallen so far.

After a few minutes, Will returned with a steaming mug of coffee.“You like cream or sugar?” he asked.

Don shook his head, not wanting to make Will go back for it, and took the mug.He painfully sat part of the way up, inhaled the dark aroma and waited for it to cool.

Will pulled his chair close to the bed and looked intently at Don.“Want to tell me how a guy like you ended up in this shape?”

“A guy like me,” Don repeated, his mouth twisting.

Will raised his eyebrows and waited.

Don stared down at his coffee mug, searching for strength.After all Will had done for him, he owed him the truth.Finally he said, “I always thought I knew what sort of guy I was.I was a guy who liked women.There was no doubt, no question in my mind, no _hint_ that anything else might be true.

He took a small sip of his coffee.“Then six or seven months ago, two male friends of mine … talked me into having sex with them.And it was more than just fun, it was a damn eye-opener.

He looked up at Will.Will’s face was carefully neutral.Don continued, “Here I am, at my age, discovering that I didn’t know myself at all.How could _I_ like men?How could _I_ be bisexual?

Don took another sip of his coffee and willed his hands to stop shaking.“Then one of my friends, one of the men who helped me discover this, moved on to another relationship and I realized I’d lost him by being a frightened idiot.”He gripped the coffee mug tighter but his hands still shook. “Now I see this man and his new love every day and they’re so happy and I’m so envious that it’s ripping me up inside.

Don tossed back a large swallow of coffee, ignoring the way it burned down his throat.He took another gulp then said, with mingled anger and despair, “I went looking for that same feeling, that same rush I had with him, and I couldn’t find it, so I just kept pushing harder and harder.Until I …”he trailed off and met Will’s eyes.“Until I ended up like this.”

Will looked at him silently for a long moment.Don searched, but couldn’t find any judgement in those deep brown eyes.

Finally Will said quietly, “I don’t think you would have ever found what you were looking for that way.”

Don sighed and agreed.

Will touched his hand then stood up.“You hungry?”

Surprising himself, Don realized that he was.He couldn’t remember when he’d eaten last.Food had become just another maintenance task, something he tried to check off his daily to-do list.“Yeah,” he said, then remembered his plan to never eat again so that he wouldn’t have to use the toilet.About as workable as any other plan he’d had lately.

Will pushed back his chair and disappeared out the bedroom door.Soon Don heard the sound of opening cabinets.Don poked his mouth sores with his tender tongue and hoped that Will wouldn’t come back with a peanut-butter sandwich.

Instead, Will brought in a bowl of hot oatmeal, so wet to be almost soupy.Don gratefully traded his empty coffee mug for the bowl.He couldn’t manage both the bowl and a spoon with his one hand so he gave Will a shrug and slurped down the oatmeal.He barely made it to the bottom of the bowl before his eyes began drooping shut.He couldn’t remember ever feeling more tired, even when he’d been up for days on some case or when he’d been injured before.This was absolute tiredness, total breakdown of body and soul.Will took the bowl from his nerveless fingers and Don was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

  



	9. Q&A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don and Will have some questions for each other, and their answers lead to more questions.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 9  


**Pairing:** Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 9 - Q &A

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM. Do not read if you are under 18.**

****

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  
  


  


_/…Life is trial by fire…/_ __

 

Don woke up and automatically checked the clock.He’d slept for five hours.Memory slowly filtered back into his brain as his body enumerated its various pains.As he blinked sleep from his eyes, he noticed that in a neat pile next to the bed were his clothes, car keys, wallet and cell phone.He looked around to see Will in his familiar chair.

Will shrugged.“I took them from the locker at the club last night after I got you into my car.It was rather unprofessional of me but …” he shrugged again.

His wallet, his ID.Now no one was going to know he was at The Chamber.Another huge debt he owed Will.

Don slowly reached to pick up his phone.“I can call a cab?”

“If you want,” Will sighed.“I’m not going to keep you here against your will any longer.But another 24 hours would help you a lot, unless you’re willing to go to the ER.”

Don shuddered at the idea of explaining himself, and trying to get them not to report an assault on a federal agent. Instead, Don pressed the speed dial button for voicemail and listened to the few messages that waited him.Nothing urgent.

He hung up and pressed the next speed dial.He was relieved when the answering machine picked up at the house.

“Hi Dad,” Don said quickly.“I can’t make it to supper tonight.Work stuff.Talk to you soon.”He hung up and met Will’s eyes.Will nodded, acknowledging Don’s acceptance of his further help.

A particular message from Don’s battered body finally made itself heard in his brain.Don grimaced.“Will, I’ve kind of got to … go.”He gestured towards the bathroom.Luckily at this moment it was only his bladder that was full.

Will stood up and helped Don to his feet.The room felt slightly less wobbly than it had before.But the bottoms of his feet were much more tender.The ways Channing had forced him to stand had all deeply bruised different parts of his feet, so now they were a mass of throbbing pain.Don’s grip tight on Will, they walked carefully towards the bathroom.

“Do you need to …” Will began.

“Just piss,” Don said quickly, embarrassed.Will held Don standing up in front of the toilet and kindly closed his eyes.Don pulled his battered cock out through the fly on his pajamas and gritted his teeth at the severe burning pain that urinating caused.He felt light-headed again as he tucked himself away.

“Bed,” he gasped to Will.Will turned him around and helped him back into the bedroom.Don collapsed onto the bed, swamped by pain and the utter humiliation of the situation.

Will tugged the blanket back over his body and handed Don a TV remote.He straightened up.“Sleep would be better but if you can’t sleep ...”Will pointed to a TV against the far wall. “I’ll be right in the next room if you need me.”

“Will, I …” Don said then trailed off, having no idea how to express his gratitude to this complete stranger for his incredible kindness.He only could say, “Thank you.”

Will’s lips quirked and he nodded and left the room.

Don flipped around TV channels for the next hour but he wasn’t really watching anything.Rather, he was thinking about his pathetic situation and somewhere, deep underneath the self-loathing, anger began to grow – anger at himself, yes, but also anger at Channing and The Chamber.He didn’t look too closely at the feeling, fearing it would vanish if he acknowledged it.It had been so long since he felt anything.

After a while, Don put the remote down.It may seem ungrateful, but he needed to know more about this man who had saved his reputation, not to mention his life. “Will?”

Will appeared in the doorframe, his finger marking his place inside a book.“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Don said.“I just wanted to ask you some questions.”

Looking a little uncomfortable, Will sat down in his chair.“Only if I can ask you a question for each of yours.”

Don frowned then decided it was a fair trade.He glanced over to see what Will had been reading. _The Demolished Man_ by Alfred Bester.Didn’t mean anything to Don, though he had the vague feeling it was Science Fiction.Definitely needed to know more about this man.

Don went first.“What kind of name is Stevens?”

“You mean,” Will said, “Why don’t I have a name like Park or Kim?”

Don nodded.

“My mom is first generation Korean but my dad is white.I get my name, and being six feet zero inches tall, from him.”Will cleared his throat.“My turn.Who gave you the info about The Chamber?”

“Max, the bartender at Titan.”

“I’m gonna kill him,” Will growled.“He should know better than to give that kind of info to someone so vulnerable.”

Don thought about protesting the word ‘vulnerable’ but it was a pretty apt description.Instead he asked, “You said you’d been in my place when you were younger – at a BDSM club.What did you mean?”

Will sighed but looked like he’d been expecting the question.“When I was in my early twenties, I got into drugs.Heavy into drugs.One of my dealers was big in this one club and said that I could earn drugs by ‘working’ there.By doing whatever it was the other club members wanted.So that’s what I did.”He looked away from Don, his eyes and voice distant.“I became basically a prostitute, a drug whore.I’m a switch – means I enjoy both Dom and sub – so I did both, many times for many men.”His lips twisted.“I was very popular.”

Don stared at him, horrified.He tried to picture this confident, healthy man as a drug-using prostitute.What a long road from there to the DEA …

Will looked back at Don, his eyes shuttered, like he expected judgment from Don.Don banished the horror from his face and let his sympathy show.He certainly didn’t have the right to judge other people’s choices.Will examined his face then relaxed minutely.Will asked his next question.“Why did you go to The Chamber?”

It was Don’s turn to look away. “I didn’t know what else to do.I couldn’t figure out how to find what I needed.”

Before Will could comment, Don quickly asked, “How did you get from that club to the DEA?”

Will took a moment to find a bookmark and set his book down. “My friend, the one who saved my life, who got me out of the club and off of drugs, he was an EMT.It seemed like a worthwhile thing to do so I got the training.But I quickly got tired of dealing with the aftermath of drug use so I decided to go into the DEA to try and fight it.Been a frustrating job but occasionally I feel like I make a difference in someone’s life.”

Will then asked, “What did you need that you thought you might find at The Chamber?”

Don sighed.“To feel.To feel … anything.”

Will nodded, his eyes understanding.

Don asked, “How did you get into the DEA with that past?”

“You’d be surprised what the pasts of some agents are.Maybe they think it gives us a special insight into the things we’ll deal with.I was also very lucky that my club treated me right and I somehow got out of there without any STDs.It was a good club, but I wasn’t exactly there for fun – a fact that I always managed to keep from other club members so my dealer wouldn’t cut me off ...My boss at the DEA knows about my past so he chose me for this particular undercover assignment, though he didn’t tell anyone else why.No one else knows.”

Will’s turn. “How did you ‘discover’ that you’re bisexual?”

“I was seduced by two male coworkers.”Don smiled at the memory.“You know what stakeouts can be like, long hours with nothing to entertain you.”

“I see,” Will said, amused.

Don fired back with, “How did you decide you were gay?”

Will shrugged.“Known all my life, as soon as I knew enough to put a word to it.My parents fought it for a long time, one of the reasons I became a drug addict.But in the last few years we’ve reached a tentative truce.Guess that all the terrible things they feared I would do, I’ve done and I’m still alive and in a pretty okay place right now.”

Will tilted his head.“What about you, your family know you’re bi?”

Don laughed bitterly.His brother was far too aware of the fact.He gave Will a partial answer.“My mom died a couple of years ago but according to my dad she always suspected it.So when I made my big reveal to my dad, he wasn’t surprised at all.He was even kind of alright with it.My parents were, are, incredible people.”

“I’ll say,” Will said with more than a trace of envy.

Don looked for a safer question.“Where did you grow up?”

“In LA.I’ve worked for the DEA all over the country but always pushed to get transferred back here.My parents still live around here, in Orange County now.”

It was Will’s turn but instead of immediately asking a question, Will stared at Don for a long moment, his eyes pinning Don in place.Finally he asked, “What aren’t you telling me?What made things so terrible?Who is this person that your lover moved on to?”

Don flushed.“I bet you make a great interrogator.”

Will waited.

“My brother,” Don said at last.

Will sucked in his breath.

“Yeah.My baby brother now has the sort of relationship I’ve always wanted with a man that I may have even loved.”

“Ouch.”Will winced.“Both you and your brother are gay?Or bi?Wow, did the rumor mill fail me there.”

“It’s kinda new for him too.”

Will laughed dryly.“Been an eventful year for your family.What are the odds of both of you … ”

“I’m sure that Charlie could tell you the exact odds.”Don said, then his voice grew bitter. “I can’t say it’s all very surprising, Charlie has always gotten everything I’ve wanted.Now he has Colby too.”

“Must be hard to be the brother of such a prodigy,” Will said, his voice neutral.

Don covered his face with his uninjured hand.“Just when I think I’ve gotten over all the childhood resentments – my mother went with him to college, can you believe that? – he goes and does something like this.I’d do anything for him, give up anything for him, and God, does he _take_ …”

Will was silent for a long moment as Don struggled to regain his composure.Finally Will said quietly, “It’s your turn for a question.”

Don mumbled, “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“Yeah.Three sisters, all younger than me.I’m close with one, talk regularly with another, and the third pretends I don’t exist.She’s never forgiven me for being gay.”

“Oh,” Don said.Maybe he was lucky with his family after all.

Will asked, “Does anyone you work with know you’re bi?”

“Only the two co-workers that seduced me,” Don said wryly.“What about you?”

“Before I moved back to LA, no one I worked with knew.But my team here, I just felt more comfortable with them.They all know and don’t seem to have a problem with it.”Will grinned.“In fact, they get a kick out of trying to set me up with guys, usually poor bewildered straight guys.”

Don smiled a little in response.“Your next question?”

Will shook his head.“I think that’s enough for me for now, unless there’s something else you want to ask me?”

“Not at the moment,” Don said, his eyelids drooping.He felt so tired.

“You’ve lost a lot of blood,” Will said, standing up.“You need to sleep more.But you also need more to eat.”

Don almost protested at being treated like an invalid, but then he realized that was exactly he was.And it was only due to Will that he wasn’t much worse.

When Will returned with a bowl of miso soup, Don took it meekly and sipped the hot brothy soup with his swollen lips.While he ate, Will lifted off Don’s pajama top then applied more salve to his burns and welts and put fresh bandages on the worst of his knife slashes and his wrist wounds.He added an extra layer of bandages to Don’s broken fingers, swathing most of his left hand into a large white lump.

“You’re gonna have to get that set,” Will said.“X-rays and set.Eventually you’re going to have to see a doctor.”

“I know,” Don said.He gave Will back the empty bowl.Will set it aside and gestured for Don to lay down.Don lay on his back and closed his eyes.Will peeled down the pajama bottoms and treated the welts and slashes down across Don’s hips and down his legs.He avoided his inflamed cock and balls.Only time would help with that.

Will tugged on Don’s hip and Don turned over, his eyes still closed.Will’s gentle fingers soothed the welts and cuts over his ass and down his legs.He carefully replaced the bandages around Don’s swollen, blood-encrusted ankles.Then, even more gentle, he applied the cooling cortisone gel to Don’s torn anus.Don bit his lip but a whimper still escaped.

Carefully, Will pulled the pajama bottoms back up and helped him back into the pajama top.

Letting Don lay down again, Will tugged the sheet and blankets up to Don’s chin.Don painfully rolled onto his right side, the side that hurt the least of all four options.As Will gathered up his supplies and walked to the door, Don said softly, “You would have made a good doctor.”

Will paused for a long moment then only said, “Sleep now.”

Don obediently slept.


	10. Eating, sleeping, and what comes between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don continues to heal, rest, and learn more about Will.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 10  


**Pairing:** Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 10 - Eating, sleeping, and what comes between

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM. Do not read if you are under 18.**

****

  
****

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  
  
  


Part 10 – Eating, sleeping, and what comes between

 

_/…And love’s the sweetest taste…/_

  
__

Don slept through most of the day.He woke up only when he smelled food.He sat up slowly, stiffly, but he did manage to do it all by himself with only one small grunt of pain.

Will appeared at the doorway of the bedroom.“I thought you might sleep until tomorrow but I got hungry myself.”

“Smells good,” Don said.“Chinese?”

“Korean, technically,” Will smiled.“Since my mom taught me how to make it.”

“You cooked?”Don said.

“People do sometimes,” Will said.“Though I bet your kitchen doesn’t see much use.”

“I use the fridge,” Don muttered.

“For beer, no doubt,” Will teased then disappeared back into the kitchen.

Don reached for the TV remote and flipped around until he found a hockey game.

Will came back in with two bowls piled high with a fragrant rice dish.He set them down on the dresser and came back with a tray that he set on Don’s lap and added a spoon and a napkin.He set a glass of water on the side table within reach.

“No chopsticks?”Don asked.

“Not for rice,” Will said, holding up his own spoon.He set Don’s bowl in front of him.It was a multicolor mélange of rice and other things.

“What is it?”Don asked, trying to sound curious rather than doubtful.

“ _Bibimbap_.Means ‘mixed rice’.Kind of the Korean equivalent of fried rice.White rice with … what did I put in this time … bean sprouts, carrots, _mu_ – that’s a sort of radish, zucchini, fried egg, and lots of beef, because you need it.It usually comes separated but I stirred it up for you already.”

Will took his bowl and spoon and went to sit in his chair.“It’s a little bland,” he apologized.“I usually put in more garlic and red chili paste but I didn’t think your mouth would like that.”

Balancing the tray on his lap, Don took a spoonful and brought it to his mouth.Out of the corner of his eye, Don could see Will watching him nervously. _Afraid I’m gonna reject his cooking?Why should he care?_

Don put the spoonful into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.“It’s delicious,” he said truthfully.

“What it is,” Will said lightly, though Don could tell he was pleased, “is the first solid food you’ve had in days, so of course it’s good.” 

“It’s good, regardless,” Don said and helped himself to another large spoonful.

Will smiled and began to dig into his bowl.He looked up at the TV.“Oh, the Ducks,” he said. “They still doing good this season?”

“In line for the playoffs,” Don said.“Though I’m more of a Bruins fan myself.”

“They’re having a lousy season,” Will said.

“It’s the new rules,” Don protested.“The Bruins weren’t set up with them in mind.”

“Are you saying that actual thought went into putting together a Bruins team?”

“Ooh,” Don laughed. “Them’s fighting words.”

An odd expression flashed across Will’s face but was gone before Don could identify it.Instead, Will smiled and they started debating the new NHL rules.

It was a pleasant evening.Don found that he had a lot in common with Will, as their conversation wandered from sports to movies to trying to live up to parental expectations in the kitchen and elsewhere. Don entertained Will for a while with stories about his father trying to get back into dating.That topic brought on a lot of laughter and Don saw that odd expression appear Will’s face more than once, but he couldn’t nail it down.

When the hockey game finally ended with a shootout, Will yawned.“I haven’t been sleeping all day, so I’m ready to turn in.”

Don nodded, ready for sleep himself.This evening had been the longest he’d spent period he’d spent awake since …

_How could I have been so stupid?_ He was mad at himself, but inside him the other anger grew - anger at The Chamber, at Channing.Knowing that he hadn’t been even remotely the first person that Channing had done this to, and that some of those people had died, fueled his rage.He had a brief pleasant image of shooting Channing then shook his head.That wasn’t what Channing deserved and Don didn’t want to lower himself to the level needed to give Channing the brutalization he deserved.But he’d be certain to check in on him, after he was healed …

Will stood and stretched then wandered over to his chair.Don realized that he intended on sleeping there again.

“Don’t you have a couch?”Don asked.

“Old and lousy to sleep on,” Will said.“Besides, even after years in the DEA, I’m still a very sound sleeper.I want to be able to hear you if you need me.”

Don flushed.At the same time, he both resented and appreciated Will’s concern.He just wished he understood it.If Don had been in his place, he would have found some friends of the burdensome FBI agent and offloaded him as soon as possible.He looked at the expanse of Will’s king-sized bed and said, “There’s plenty of space here.You can have the other half of the bed.”

Will looked at Don for a moment then shrugged.“It sure sounds more comfortable.”He grabbed some clothes and disappeared into the bathroom.After a moment, he came out wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt and switched off the light.He crawled into the opposite side of the bed and turned away from Don.

“Call my name if you need me,” Will said.“I usually wake up for that.”

“Okay,” Don said, then turned onto his right side on the far edge of the bed.He fell asleep quickly, sleep being the only thing he could do well at the moment.

 

He woke much later, comfortably warm.With a start, he realized he had rolled over to Will’s side of the bed and was curled up against Will’s back.He jerked and started to move away.

“Hmm?” Will mumbled.

“I’m sorry,” Don stammered.“I just woke up over here and—“

“Is okay,” Will’s sleep-slurred voice said and he rolled onto his back.“Natural reaction after your ‘sperience.Moving ‘tward warmth and comfort.”Will stretched out his right arm and invited Don closer.

Don hesitated but he desperately needed human contact - safe positive human contact.After a moment, Don carefully lay his head down on Will’s shoulder.This forced him to lay on his sorer left side and every movement of his body hurt but he soaked in the warmth of Will’s body.He smiled as he realized that Will was already asleep again.Don shifted a tiny bit closer to Will and fell back to sleep himself.

 

The next morning, Don woke, still curled up against Will’s side.He moved carefully away, not sure in the light of day that Will would remember inviting him over.He got to his side of the bed and found the TV remote.He clicked the TV on but kept the sound low.

Rather than the TV, Don found himself watching Will sleep.It was easier to look at him while his eyes were closed.Awake, Will’s dark eyes were too powerful, too compelling.There was an intensity there, a hunger, that Don didn’t understand.Now he could just admire what he could see of Will’s six-foot-long body - the firm strong muscles of his chest and arms, his full mouth with slightly parted lips, the perfect line of his nose and eyebrows, the long straight black hair that had pulled free from its tie and spread across the pillow.Again Don got the urge to push the hair away from Will’s face, run his fingers down those strong cheekbones …

Don shook himself.This man had saved his life and Don was repaying him with lust?

Will’s eyes opened slowly and fastened on Don.“Somethin’ wrong?”

Don said quickly, “Just need to go to the bathroom.”

Will stood up and stretched.Don couldn’t help noticing how Will’s t-shirt pulled up and revealed a strip of golden flat stomach.

_Dammit, Don, stop that._ If nothing else, those thoughts roused parts of Don that were not in any shape to be roused.

“You should have woke me up,” Will said, still yawning.

“Wasn’t urgent yet,” Don said.“Looked like you could use your sleep.I bet you didn’tslept well in that chair.”

Will shrugged and came around Don’s side of the bed.He held out a hand and Don took it and got unsteadily to his feet.Still, he felt better than he had the day before.His bruises were showing more strongly but his cuts were mostly scabbed over.

When Will got Don to the door of the bathroom, Don said, “I can do this myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Gonna have to some time,” Don said dryly.

“Okay,” Will said and allowed Don to take the last few steps by himself.“If you need them, use the anti-bacterial wipes on the counter.”

Don grimaced and Will shut the door.Don managed to empty his bladder without falling down or fainting at the pain, and he felt quite proud of that.Then he realized his colon needed to be emptied too and he felt a frisson of dread.He sat down on the toilet and, with much pain and more than a few short blackouts, succeeded with that too.He put his head between his knees and tried to gather the strength to stand up.

“Don, you okay?”Will asked from outside the door.

“Yeah,” Don gasped.“Almost done.” He used the toilet paper then reached for the antibacterial wipes.He managed to use one and drag his pajama bottoms back up before collapsing against the sink.

“Will,” he called and Will instantly opened the door.

“Damn, Don, you look like a ghost,” Will snapped.He helped Don back to bed.

“Success though, on both ends,” Don said with a faintly hysterical giggle.

“Oh?”Will said.“Let me check and see if you ripped anything.”

_So much for dignity._ Don pulled down his pants and rolled onto his stomach.

Will deftly checked his anus.“Looks good,” Will said, “Or rather doesn’t look worse than it did before.Want some of the cream?”

“Since you’re already there,” Don said, muffled.

Will chuckled then got the cream and applied it.He tugged Don’s pants back up.

Don rolled back over and Will said,“Good, your color is coming back.Did you faint on the toilet?”

“Only a few times,” Don said weakly.

Standing up, Will grumbled something about pride and deserving a concussion if he fell and hit his head on the sink. “Breakfast,” he said more distinctly and stalked out of the room.


	11. A cold shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don has to take a shower - and since he needs Will's help, it better be a cold shower.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 11  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 11 - A cold shower

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
 **Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
 **Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM. Do not read if you are under 18.  
**

  
**  
**

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  
  
  


Part 11 – A cold shower

_/…And I pray it lifts us higher…/_

Will brought back another bowl of oatmeal, this time with the tray and a spoon.Don ate then drifted back to sleep, still holding the spoon.

He woke up an hour later, the dishes cleared away and himself tucked back under the blanket. _I could get used to this pampering …_

Then aches in his body reminded him why he was lying in this bed.And a whiff of himself reminded him that it had been days since he’d had a real shower or bath.The sponge bath that Will gave him could only do so much.

“Will?” Don called.

Will appeared at the door.“Maybe I should give you a little bell or something to summon me,” he said wryly.

“Sorry,” Don said with a flush.He hated being dependant on anyone.

“No, it’s okay,” Will said, seeing his expression.He added with a wink, “When you bring an injured wild animal home, you expect to feed and take care of it for a while.”

“I certainly smell like a wild animal,” Don said.

“Well, now that you mention it …” Will smiled.Don was momentarily distracted that ready smile that banished the seriousness of Will’s face.“Shower or bath?”

“Shower would be nice.”Baths, in Don’s opinion, were for relaxing in, not getting clean.

“You’re gonna need help with that,” Will said.

“Probably,” Don acknowledged, annoyed by his weakness.

“Let me change into something that can get soaked then,” Will said, pulled something out of a drawer, and walked into the bathroom.

Don got to his feet by himself, a small triumph.Walking around the end of the bed though, he realized he was still very wobbly.He stopped in the middle of the room, swaying slightly, and waited for Will.

Will came out of the bathroom, dressed only in a pair of blue swim trunks.His gorgeous body was almost all on display – from his well-shaped legs to his flat stomach to his muscled chest.He had a smooth, golden, and mostly hairfree body, and the swim trunks did little to hide a substantial crotch package.

Don’s body immediately took notice and pain throbbed through him.Don groaned, “Did you have to do that?”

“What?”Will said, startled.

“Wear that.”Don waved at the swim trunks.“Couldn’t you have just put on a raincoat or something?”

Will blinked at him for a moment then a smile spread across his face.

“Yeah, fine,” Don grumbled.“Torment the injured guy.”

Will gave a warm chuckle and went to pull on a grey t-shirt.At least that covered some of the real estate.He pulled out a hair tie and began to gather up his long hair.Don fixed his eyes on the bathroom door and made his wobbly way over to the doorframe.

“Pretty good,” Will said, coming up behind him. 

Don gritted his teeth and made it the next few steps across the bathroom before he had to grab the sink and let the room shift around him.

“You better not be pushing yourself too much,” Will warned.“After all my work.”

Don knew Will was right, he was pushing.Don took a firm grip on his pride and held out his hand for Will to help him take off his clothes.Will efficiently stripped him and helped him step into the bathtub, under the shower nozzle.Don braced himself against the tile wall with his one functional hand.Will stepped in behind him and pulled the shower curtain closed.He reached around Don and turned on the water.Water poured down onto Don’s head.He closed his eyes and shivered.

“Too cold?”Will asked.

“A little warmer,” Don said.He usually liked his showers hot but he needed the body-calming effects of cool water.

“I figure I can hold on to your shoulders while you use the soap.”

“Good idea,” Don said.Very good idea since Don didn’t think he could stand Will’s hands soaping him down.Will gripped Don’s shoulders, managing to find someplace to hold that didn’t have too many wounds, and Don fumbled with the soap but eventually got it most places.He grimaced when he realized this shower meant that Will would have to reapply all the salves and replace his bandages.He must have smelled really bad for Will to be willing to do that.

“Need to rinse my back,” Don said, and Will turned him around.

Don discovered himself standing about two inches from a soaking wet Will.The t-shirt clung to his body in a way that was sexier than bare skin.Don swallowed and quickly closed his eyes.That only helped some since his entire body seemed far too aware of how close Will was.Don leaned back farther into the cool water, hoping that it would dampen more than just his hair.

“Back around,” Don said, without opening up his eyes.Will turned him back around and Don held onto the wall for a moment, trying to settle his racing heart.He remembered that back in Watson and even under Channing, he’d chastised himself for being just an animal, driven by his body.Here he was again, unable to control his body.At Watson, that led to—Okay, thinking about Watson was definitely not helping him cool down.Instead, he thought about Channing, and that filled him with enough disgust and anger that he was able to take a breath.

Will’s fingers on his shoulders were tightening and flexing, almost rhythmically.Don thought about those hands traveling downwards, that wet body pressed against his back …

“Damn,” Don said under his breath.He was never going to get through the shower this way.

“Don, you okay?”Will asked.

“Sure,” Don said huskily, then cleared his throat.“Sure,” he said again in a more normal tone.“Just enjoying the water.”

“I see,” Will said.

_I most sincerely hope that you do not._

“Shampoo’s over there.”Will waved to a shelf with a few bottles.

Don reached over and grabbed a bottle, then tried to figure out one-handed shampooing.“Umm, Will?”he asked. “Could you get my hair?”

“Sure,” Will said and released one hand from Don’s shoulder.Don handed him the bottle of shampoo then turned and braced himself back against the wall.Will’s other hand vanished from Don’s shoulder, leaving it feeling light and cold.Don heard Will flip open the bottle and squeeze some out.

Then Will’s hands were in his hair, massaging the shampoo in.His strong fingers slid over Don’s ears and down his neck, gathering stray hair into the lather.Don clenched his teeth and told himself that Will washing his hair was _not_ one of the most sensual things he’d ever felt.

Will finished and moved Don’s head forward under the shower spray.His fingers made sure that all of the shampoo was gone then pulled away.Don was both relieved and disappointed to feel the hands go.

“You done?” Will asked.

_I’m trying very hard not to get started._

“Yeah,” Don said, “Should smell better now.”

Will leaned around him and shut off the water.In the sudden silence, Don heard Will sniff appreciatively.“Much better,” Will declared.

Stepping out of the tub, Will gave Don a hand out.Will took a towel and carefully patted Don’s body dry while Don rubbed another towel across his hair.

“Got a comb?” Don asked.

“You mean that hair of yours is deliberate?I figured you just rolled out of bed every morning and left it like that.”

“Ha, ha.” Don said and took the comb that Will waved in front of him.He dragged the comb through his always unruly hair, just enough to pull out tangles.

When Don was done, Will gave an exaggerated sigh and proceeded to re-salve and re-bandage Don’s battered body.Maybe it was wishful thinking, but the cream to Don’s anus seemed slightly less excruciating than before.

Will helped him into a fresh pair of pajamas, the first pair now sticky with medication and dried blood.Don needed Will’s aid to get back to the bed and he collapsed, exhausted by effort of the shower.

“You gonna be okay for a few minutes?”Will asked.“I could use a real shower myself.”

“Sure,” Don mumbled, his eyes closed.

Will went back into the bathroom and closed the door.After a moment, Don heard the shower turn on.The image flashed into Don’s mind of water pouring down Will’s naked body.Don groaned and reached for sleep.


	12. Leaving, returning, and a confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don has the option of leaving, but isn't sure that's what he wants. Will finally confesses why he saved Don's life.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 12  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 12 - Leaving, returning, and a confession

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal, BDSM. Do not read if you are under 18.  
** **  
******

  


**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  


****

 

****

Part 12 – Leaving, returning, and a confession

_/…To that one safe place …/_

 

Don woke up three and a half hours later, feeling a fair amount better.Maybe he could manage - go home and unburden Will from caring for this demanding stranger.Don looked around.Will was sitting on the other side of the bed, watching TV with the sound turned off and the closed-captions on.He was fiddling with a stray strand of hair.Sitting up, Don smiled at Will.

“You look like you’re feeling better,” Will said, setting down the TV remote.

“Yeah,” Don said, “You may get rid of me today.”

Will raised his eyebrows, and pointedly didn’t mention that Don couldn’t even shower by himself a few hours ago.

“Is my car still at the club?” Don asked.

“I doubt the DEA towed it,” Will responded neutrally.

“Good,” Don said.“You can drop me off there.”

“Don, are you sure—“Will started then bit off his words and nodded.

Don swung his legs over the side of the bed and frowned down at his pile of clothes.He was not thrilled at the idea of getting into his usual form-fitting jeans and t-shirt.Will silently stood up and went to his dresser.After a moment, he handed Don a pair of baggy sweatpants and a “Pomona College” t-shirt.Don nodded his thanks and Will helped him get into the borrowed clothes.Will put Don’s own clothes and things into a bag.

“Pomona College, eh?”Don asked.

“Yep,” Will said, kneeling down to put on Don’s shoes.“Got myself a pointless but extremely interesting Bachelor’s in Sociology there.”

Will stood up again and Don followed suit.He was pretty stable on his feet, though the shoes seemed to hit every bruise perfectly.“Isn’t that one of the Claremont Colleges?”Don asked, not wanting to seem like a total idiot.

“Yeah,” Will said, surprised.“Most people haven’t heard of it, even though it’s right here in LA county.”

Don shrugged and picked up his keys, wallet, and cell phone.“Charlie is always talking about some Harvey Med place there.”

“Harvey Mudd,” Will corrected him.

“Yeah, that.”Then Don needed to concentrate on walking.

In the next room, he took a pause to look around him at Will’s house, or at least as much as he could see from his position leaning against the wall.So far he’d only seen the bedroom and the bathroom.He was standing in a medium-sized living room, with bookshelves, a stereo and a couch that did look old and uncomfortable.Down the hall were three more doors.He could see a computer desk through the open door of one and the second showed a jumble of books, painting supplies and just miscellaneous stuff.The third was a bathroom.The kitchen was in the other direction.It was a small house but probably worth a lot in the crazy LA real estate market.How could Will have afforded this house on a DEA salary?Maybe he had an additional source of funds …

Don chided himself for his suspicious thoughts. _Talk about pre-judging._ Will probably had the house for the same reason his father had their nice house – his family had been in the valley before the housing market went insane.

Will was standing behind him, letting Don look and catch his breath.Don got himself moving again and made it all the way by himself out the front door to Will’s car, a Ford Explorer.Don had been lucky that Will didn’t drive an Accord, as his unconscious body never would have fit in back. _I was lucky in a lot more ways than that._

Will unlocked the car and Don climbed in.Just the act of getting in and sitting down took more energy than Don could imagine.Still, he kept his head up and made a show of looking around.Will’s house was stucco with a Spanish tile roof and stood on a small lot in an older neighborhood.His front yard was well-kept with a big oak tree, several camellia bushes, and a low-water groundcover.Don remembered his father saying that you could tell a lot about a person by how they kept their yard.This yard said its owner was organized, slightly obsessive, and environmentally conscious.Or he just had a good gardener.Don was building a picture of Will in his mind like he did for a victim … or a suspect.

Don realized that they weren’t moving and looked at Will.

“Your seatbelt,” Will said.

Don nodded and grimaced as he pulled the seatbelt over his damaged body.He closed his eyes and tried to breathe deeply, though that sent the seatbelt scraping over the burns on his chest.

Either the ride to the club wasn’t far or Don blacked out on the way.He was definitely not up to taking care of himself yet.Will pulled up next to Don’s car and looked like he wanted to say something but pursed his lips and remained silent.Don looked over at the building that housed The Chamber.A flash of rage shot through him, then left him more exhausted than before.

“Will,” Don asked meekly, “Can I drive my car back to your place and … stay with you a little longer?”

Will smiled.“Absolutely.Think you can find it again?”

“I’ll follow you.”

“Okay then, I’ll try not to lose you.”

Don nodded then climbed out of Will’s car and into his own.He shook himself, trying to summon some energy and alertness.Will pulled out of the parking lot and he followed closely.

Don was soaked in sweat and trembling by the time they reached Will’s house.He parked next to Will’s car in the driveway and sat there for a long moment.

“Don?”Will asked, coming around his car to Don’s.

“Not quite … full-strength yet,” Don said.

Will opened the door and unbuckled Don from the seat and peeled Don’s fingers from the steering wheel.He helped Don into the house and to a chair in the front room.Don took a deep breath and turned to Will, about to say something self-deprecating, when he saw the expression on Will’s face.Will looked tense but determined as he shut the door behind them.

“Don, I need to talk to you,” Will said.

Don sighed. _Here it comes.The demands and the blackmail._ Don automatically checked to make sure that he was closer to the front door than Will was and that Will didn’t have his gun. _At least not one I can see._

Will crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the couch then jumped up and began pacing the room.

Don waited, trying to ready his body for flight.

“I feel like I’ve been lying to you,” Will said at last.“Letting you think that I’m some sort of Good Samaritan, and that I would have taken home any Fed I saw in that place.I hope I would have, but I don’t really know.But I didn’t hesitate with you.It actually scares me how little I stopped to think with you.”

_Okay, so it’s something only I have access to … Or he wants to have control of the lead FBI agent in the office._ Don moved to the edge of his seat.

Will didn’t seem to notice.He was still pacing back and forth, not looking at Don.“God, I don’t know where to start,” Will said.

Don asked flatly, “What is it you want?”

“Want?”Will blinked at him.“I don’t _want_ anything.Okay, that’s not true.There’s a great deal that I want, I just …”Will bit his lip and shook his head.

Using a classic interview technique, Don said, “Start at the beginning.”

Will threw himself down on the couch, not looking at Don.“The beginning?The beginning was your brother’s kidnapping.”

Don stiffened.This was all about the Russian mob?

“I was one of a whole army of law enforcement officers and I really doubt you noticed me, you were so incredibly intense, focused.I noticed you though, oh yeah.”Will gave a humorless smile, still not meeting Don’s eyes.“You were ready to tear apart the world to get back your brother and your agent.I was supposed to be listening to your instructions but all I could think of was that you were the most passionate, most gorgeous man I’d ever seen.”

Don’s thoughts short-circuited and his jaw dropped.

Will glanced up at him, then away.“Yeah.Ridiculous, isn’t it.I’m thirty-three years old. Too old to have crushes.”

“You …” Don stammered then stopped, utterly at a loss.

Will ran his fingers through his hair and pulled out his hair tie.“I found out more about you after that, and everything I heard said that you were totally straight.But I also learned more about you – your history, your intelligence, the respect people have for you.Just my luck, nothing I found out about you helped me get rid of this absurd crush, only made it worse.I’d never seen you laugh or really even smile, and, God, I wanted to.But you were straight, totally straight, so I just told myself to forget about it.”

Don felt the need to grab on to the arms of the chair. _Will … liked him?_ Don wondered why he hadn’t see it earlier as a lot of things fell into place. _God, I’ve been as obtuse as Charlie._ That expression he’d seen a few times on Will’s face last night.Will had seen Don laugh at last and been happily surprised.

“When I saw you at Titan,” Will continued, “I first thought you must be undercover.I really wanted to talk to you, if I could without blowing your cover.So I, umm, followed you into the bathroom …”

Don flushed, remembering what had happened in that bathroom.

“Yeah,” Will said, as if he could sense Don’s discomfort, though Will never looked up from the hair tie he stretched between his fingers.“I should have turned around and left, but I couldn’t.I wanted to see what you were doing with one of the Friday Night Blowboys - that’s what other Titan regulars called so-called straight guys who come in here after work for a quick suck.I thought, I swear to God, that you were working some other investigation and I had missed something with that guy.Since it looked like you were alone, I thought I’d be your backup and watch the door.Then you let him …”Will cleared his throat.“I thought, ‘Here’s a man who really gets into his cover,’ since after your blowboy left, you didn’t look like you’d actually enjoyed it.”

Don’s lips twisted.He had been at Titan on an investigation, but not for the FBI, for himself.

Will’s eyes flickered up to Don then away.“I asked around, discreetly, but it didn’t look like you were on a case. I found this extremely interesting and planned to talk to you if I saw you at Titan again.But that didn’t happen.”His shoulders moved in a gesture that was halfway between a shudder and a shrug.“Unfortunately, while you might not have been undercover, I was.And my investigation led me straight to The Chamber, as my team thought it would, so I had to go there most nights.

“Then you showed up at The Chamber and you could have knocked me down with a breath.I knew without asking that you were a sub – most men who have to be in control all the time in their regular lives are subs.I was there as a sub myself.I’ll admit, that I toyed with the idea of revealing that I was a switch and seeing if I could be your Dom.”

Don blinked.He found himself wishing that Will had done that.Under Will’s firm but compassionate hands he might have--Don cut that thought off.He didn’t think he’d ever be able to enjoy BDSM again, after Channing.

As if the name was spoken out loud, Will said, “Then you got put under Channing, and I knew that that bastard wouldn’t stop until he’d broken you or you were dead.I thought, given the fact that Channing only had one evening to work on you, dead was more likely.” Will’s mouth twisted.“I almost—“ Will started angrily then cut himself off.He took a deep breath, then another.

Finally he said, “You shouldn’t feel any obligation or pressure since I helped you.I just hope you’ll let me know occasionally how you are.”

Will met Don’s eyes at last.Will’s face was outwardly calm, but Don could see the tension in his jaw, the wariness in his eyes.

It was Don’s turn to look away.Away from those eyes which burned through him, demanding truth.

“I don’t know what to think,” Don said quietly.“It’s been such a brutal few days, no, a brutal month since I …” He held back the words, _Tried to force Colby._ “Somewhere I lost track of myself, buried my emotions so deep that I can’t find them again.”

Will nodded.“Burying our emotions is something we learn to do in our sort of work.I’ll be here if you ever want to call me, just to talk or anything.”

_He expects me to turn and walk out the door_.Don said, “I’m not going anywhere just yet.I’m not in any shape to.”

Will blinked in surprise.“You won’t feel uncomfortable staying?”

“Actually,” Don said, feeling a little surprised himself, “In an odd way, it makes staying easier.At least now I have some idea why you’re doing this.You’re not looking for any blackmail material or some sort FBI access or info that I’d be forced to give you.”

Will raised his eyebrows then looked thoughtful, as if he was seeing what his behavior must have looked like from the other side.

“I think you’d have helped any fellow Fed you saw there.”Don said then added with a small smile, “Though maybe not taken him home and cooked for him.”

“Maybe not,” Will said with a tentative smile.

Don pushed himself up from the chair.“So, cook, what’s for lunch?”

Will’s smile moved into his eyes.“I see.You’re just staying for the food.”

“You got it,” Don said lightly and walked towards the kitchen.“And while you’re cooking, we can come up with a … legitimate reason why I have two broken fingers.”

“Sports injury?”Will said, getting up from the couch and following Don.

“Basketball maybe,” Don said.“Though that would damage my reputation as a stud basketball player.”

“I’m sure it was only because it was you against five NBA players.”

Don pulled out a chair and sat at the table, dead tired again.He put his head down on his arms and watched Will get out a pan and open the fridge.

“Pasta okay?”Will asked.

“Just make it soft pasta,” Don murmured, sleepily enjoying the way Will’s hair fell down past his shoulders. 

As Will filled the pan with water, Don had to admit that he didn’t mind that Will had a crush on him.Didn’t mind at all.

 


	13. Night and morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don enjoys the evening and a platonic night in Will's arms, then finally has to leave Will's home.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 13  


**Pairing:** Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 13 - Night and morning

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.  
** **  
**********

  
********** **

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  
  


   


_/…How many roads we’ve traveled…/_

Don ate lunch and then slept.He woke with Will sitting on the bed nearby, reading. It made him feel looked after, a strange but nice feeling.

That evening went like the one before – hockey, Will’s good cooking, conversation, laughter. Don found out that Will was a fourth-degree black belt in Aikido, a self-proclaimed Trivial Pursuit champion, and collected tigers when he was a kid.Don admitted to occasionally cheating at golf, a weakness for pistachios, and an encyclopedic knowledge of sports movies.Both Will and Don were yawning by the time this particularly long hockey game got over.They’d been watching while sitting on the bed, both safely on their own sides.

Will stood up and rubbed his face.He went over to his dresser and picked up his PDA then frowned.“Ugh, I’d forgotten about that.”

“What’s up?”Don asked, contemplating whether he wanted to change into Will’s pajamas or just sleep in Will’s sweats.

“Pre-dawn meeting tomorrow.Gotta be there.”

“Pre-dawn on a Monday morning?”Don said.“Yuck.Remind me never to join the DEA.”

Will hesitated.“Are you going to be okay taking care of yourself in the morning?I can call in sick if I need to.”

Don tried to look at the question rationally and dispassionately.He’d managed to go to the bathroom all by himself this evening.With his rate of improvement, he should be able to handle a shower by himself tomorrow.“I’ll be okay.”

Tilting his head, Will inspected Don’s face then nodded, apparently deciding that it wasn’t just pride talking.

Will went into the bathroom and changed into sleep clothes.Don decided to stay with the sweats and college t-shirt.He climbed under the blankets.Will came out of the bathroom and turned off the lights.In the dark, Don heard Will pull the blankets up and felt the movement in the bed as Will lay down.

After a moment, Will said quietly, “You can start the night over here if you want, instead of sneaking over later.”

Don felt himself flushing.“I thought you were too asleep to remember that.”

“Not at all,” Will said, “and what I said last night still stands.I’m offering you warmth and comfort, nothing else, no expectations.”

Don hesitated.He was glad that the room was so dark, so Will couldn’t see in Don’s face how much he did want to come over, and how much he thought he shouldn’t.

“I can put it in fancy Sociological terms if you want,” Will said and Don could hear the smile in his voice.

“Wouldn’t want that degree to go to waste,” Don said but didn’t wait for Will to couch it in any other terms.He slid across the bed and touched Will’s arm.Will lifted his arm and Don tucked himself inside Will’s arms like he belonged there.Will gave a soft sigh that could have been sorrow or happiness and placed his cheek against Don’s hair.

Don relaxed, feeling warm and surprisingly at peace, despite the body-wide pain that, as always, clamored for his attention.He was surprised, and a little baffled, by this instinctive trust he had in this man he’d just met and only had his word for who he was.

_Must be rebound._ Don smiled to himself and closed his eyes.He’d happily take rebound over the hell he’d been living.  


  
 

The next morning, Will’s alarm went off very early, before it was light.Will carefully extracted himself from Don’s arms and got out of bed.Don grumbled and curled into the warm spot left by Will’s body and fell back asleep.

Don came partially awake some minutes later as he heard Will standing next to the bed. Too sleepy to open his eyes, Don waited for Will to say something.Instead, Will leaned down and brushed the lightest of kisses on Don’s cheek, then he was gone.

Two hours later, Don woke up fully and found his uninjured hand pressed to his cheek where Will had kissed him.He unfolded himself and stretched painfully.He was having a hard time remembering when every movement of his body didn’t hurt.

He got up and made it to the bathroom alright, then managed to put on his shoes.He was just going to wear Will’s sweats for now.Grabbing the bag of his things he had packed the day before, Don went out to the kitchen.

On the kitchen table were several things – a bowl of oatmeal and a note on how long to warm it up in the microwave, Will’s business card with his private cell phone number written on it, and the salve he’d used on Don’s anus.

Don warmed up the cereal and ate it at the table.It was odd to be in Will’s house without Will.Still, Don could sense Will in every room, in piece of furniture, even the saggy old couch.This wasn’t just a place Will slept, he really lived here, as opposed to Don and his apartment.

Giving a sigh and feeling like a baby bird leaving the nest, Don put his cereal bowl in the sink, pocketed the business card and salve, and left.

 


	14. A hot bath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don manages his injuries and hides them at work, but is forced to explain them to his father.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 14  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 14 - A hot bath

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.  
******

  
**  
** ********** **

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  
  


   


  


_/… How many dreams we’ve chased …/_

The drive back to his apartment felt like forever but Don managed it.He stumbled back into his apartment and cleaned himself up, very painfully.He hadn’t realized before how gentle Will’s touch had been until he tried to duplicate it.He reopened several of the deeper wounds and had to mop up blood and tape on thick bandages.

From his closet, Don chose a suit since it would cover all of his marked skin.Before the suit, Don pulled on an undershirt and a pair of long boxers.Hopefully they would absorb any blood if his wounds started bleeding again.Good thing it was cool out and no one would wonder why he was in a suit.Getting into the suit was a long arduous task but finally Don was attired.He looked at himself in the mirror and decided that he looked relatively normal, if a little pale and tired.That just left his fingers.

Don got into his car and drove to the nearest hospital.He told the entry nurse that he thought he might have broken his fingers playing basketball over the weekend.At first, he said, he’d thought that he just ice them but they were hurting worse.The nurse nodded.They were probably used to patients doing stupid things like that.

Quietly, Don told the nurse that if she could expedite the process, he’d really appreciate it.That he was really needed at work, at the FBI.She looked impressed, both by his job and by the courteous way he made his request.Just a half an hour later, Don was sitting in a room, waiting for the doctor to return with his X-rays.

The doctor pushed open the door, a frown on her face.Silently, she walked over to the wall, hung up two X-rays, and flipped on the light.Don looked at the X-rays and winced.The bones in both of the fingers were shattered in at least five places.

“You say this happened to you playing basketball?” the doctor asked skeptically.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Don said.

The doctor peered at him then shrugged.She then talked about plates, pins, and screws and warned him that the bones had already started to re-fuse, so his fingers may not heal perfectly straight.That only due to the tight splint that for some reason he’d been smart enough to wrap his fingers in would they not have to re-break the bones first. _Thanks, Will._

 

It was past lunchtime by the time that Don’s fingers were immobilized and encased in metal.The sheath reminded him of a metal cock cage that one Dom had put him in and he shuddered.Never again was he going to allow another person to control him like that.

At work, he had to accept all sorts of ribbing for his fingers.When David gave him a friendly pat on his back, Don had to explain his wince by saying that when he fell down and broke his fingers, that he also jarred and bruised the rest of his body.He kept his suit coat on all day, in case some blood had seeped through to his shirt.

Thankfully, it was a quiet day at the office and though he arrived late, Don went home early.The members of his team didn’t give him grief for it since he was obviously not one hundred percent.Don thought about calling Will but figured that Will could use a break from him.Don went home to his empty apartment and slept for the next twelve hours.

The next day at work was also quiet, and Don thanked whatever gods had decided to smile on him and left the office early again.He thought maybe he could call Will tonight, but wanted a hot bath first, a long soak for his aching body.His apartment only had a shower so he headed towards his parent’s house. _Charlie’s house_ , he corrected himself automatically.

No one was home and Don left himself in with relief.He trudged upstairs to the bathroom.He’d forgotten that the lock on the bathroom door was perpetually broken, so he draped a towel on the outside doorknob, the old signal that the bathroom was in use.

Turning the water on to fill the tub, he pulled off his clothes.Today he had again worn a full suit with extra layers underneath.He settled into the hot water with a hiss then a sigh.He looked down at his body.

All of his bruises were at maximum color and he looked he’d been beaten with hundreds of small sharp rocks.The scabs of his cuts stood out in dark stripes across his body. The welts from the end of the whip had shrunk but were still red and puffy.At least his cock and balls were mostly back to their normal color and shape. He leaned back in the tub and closed his eyes.

“Donnie,” Alan called.“Are you in there?”

Don’s head snapped up.“Yeah, Dad, don’t come in.I’m in the tub.”

“I’ve got to get cologne, I have a date.”

Don searched for a towel to cover himself.“Don’t—“

“Can’t I even get into my own bathroom?” Alan grumbled.“She’s waiting and it’s not like I’m gonna see anything new.”

Alan pushed open the door and froze, staring at Don.

“Something new,” Don said weakly.He gave up on covering himself and sank back into the tub.

“My God, Donnie, what happened to you?Were you tortured?”

“Sort of.”

“Sort of?” Alan said, shutting the door and moving closer.His eyes widened as he took in the extent of Don’s injuries, including his splinted left hand.“How can you be sort of tortured?”

“If you ask for it,” Don said quietly.

Alan’s eyes went wide and horrified.“You wanted someone to do this to you?”

“Well, it got out of hand but yeah.I’ve just felt so dead and numb since Colby …I was trying to find something that made me feel again.”Don sighed.

“Oh, Donnie,” Alan knelt by the tub and took Don’s hand.“I knew you were depressed but I had no idea it had gone so far.”

Don leaned against the back of the tub and stared at the ceiling.“It was almost worse,” he murmured.“I got into a … bad situation and I might well have died there.”

Alan gasped and gripped Don’s hand.

“I was very lucky,” Don said, “very very lucky, that a friend found me and got me out.I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see a DEA drug raid before.He took me out of there quietly because he knows that being found there would probably ruin my career.He’s been taking care of me.He was an EMT before the DEA.”

“Thank you, God,” Alan said shakily.“Who is this friend?”

“You’ve never met him.I hardly knew him myself but he knew me.From Charlie and Colby’s kidnapping ironically.”

“Donnie,” Alan held Don’s hand tight.“All this for Colby?”

Don sighed deeply and closed his eyes.“Only sort of.You might have thought I might be bi all my life but it sure as hell never occurred to me.At least not consciously or anywhere I would allow it.I mean, _I_ could never like guys.I like girls, women, a lot.I’m too old to be learning this thing about myself.I’m not … handling it well.”

“I’ll say!”

Don’s eyes opened.“Don’t tell Charlie.”

“No,” Alan shook his head.“He’d think it was his fault.”

Don looked away from the horror on his father’s face.“Don’t you have a date?”

“I’ll call and cancel it.”

“Dad,” Don said firmly, “Go on your date.There’s nothing you can do for me.”

“But I can’t—“

“Time is the only thing that’s gonna heal me here,” Don gestured at his body, “and here.”Don tapped his head.

“No, I can’t go on a date now,” Alan said slowly.“It wouldn’t be fair to the woman I’m meeting, because I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about you.”

“Okay,” Don sighed.“Let me finish my bath then maybe afterwards we could order a pizza and play some Scrabble?”

Alan nodded.With one last wincing look at Don’s body, he stood up and left.Don rested his head against the back of the tub and sighed.He knew he was in for a long solicitous night with his dad, but he had to admit to himself that he didn’t really mind.Being alone, with only his thoughts to occupy him, wasn’t very fun.


	15. Good karma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will tells Don exactly what he thinks of the mess Don got himself in. Don reacts in a surprising way.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 15  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 15 - Good karma

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.  
******

  
**  
** ********** **

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  
  
  


  


_/…Across sand and sky and gravel…/_

  


A little after ten o’clock that night, after he’d finally extricated himself from his dad, Don called Will.

“Hi,” Don said quietly. “You at home?”

“Yeah,” Will answered.“You okay?”

“Doing better, but would you mind checking …?”

“Come on over.”

Don drove over to Will’s house, noting the improvement in his body in the thirty-six hours since he’d left.Will let him in and led him to the familiar bedroom.As Don got undressed, Don told Will about his bath and his father finding him there.Will efficiently checked Don over and said that the bath was a good idea.He left the room and Don got dressed.

Pulling the knot tight on his tie, Don walked out in the front room to find Will pacing back and forth.

Will spun on him and growled, “Okay, Don Eppes, I’m glad you’re doing much better so I can finally tell you what I think about that stupid stunt you pulled.”

Don froze in place and blinked.This was not the gentle Will that he was used to.

“Letting Channing do that to you was the goddamn stupidest thing I’ve ever seen!” Will snapped.“It was only by incredible luck and a series of coincidences that I was there to save your sorry ass.

Will continued fiercely, “You have _no idea_ how hard it was for me to let Channing take you into his dungeon.That man is an animal and you let him just rip you to shreds!Where is your sense?”Will paced angrily across the room.“If I hadn’t gotten that break in info that night that I needed, I probably would have blown the whole operation, months of work, just to get one idiotic, ignorant FBI agent out of a situation that he should never have let himself get into.God, do they take out your brain when they give you a badge?Or is it just you that lacks any sense of self-preservation or intelligence?”

Don kept his mouth shut and waited for Will to say what he’d obviously been holding in for days.Will’s anger was completely understandable and even a relief to Don, since it was how he’d react in the reverse situation. _Man isn’t a saint after all._

“If you _ever_ get yourself into some stupid shit like that again,” Will said with grim sincerity, “I will leave you in whatever goddamn hole you’ve dug yourself and walk away, knowing that you’re determined to fuck up your life.”

Will stopped in front of Don, his face flushed.“Well?Nothing to say to defend yourself?”

“I can’t defend it,” Don said simply.“It was stupid and brainless and everything else you said, but maybe it wasn’t just a coincidence that you were there to get me out.”

“What,” Will snapped. “Good karma?”

Don shrugged.“Something like that.”

“Well, you’ve used up all your good karma for the next few lifetimes then.”

“Maybe,” Don said, and his heart began to pound.“Let’s test that theory.”

He stepped close to Will, put his hands on Will’s shoulders, and kissed him full on the mouth.He had to tilt his head up slightly but Will’s full lips were as warm and delicious as he’d imagined.Will hesitated then began to kiss him back with fervor.Don slid his tongue between Will’s lips.Will’s tongue circled Don’s then dove into Don’s mouth.His hand came up to cup Don’s cheek.

Don broke the kiss and leaned back.He felt a huge smile on his face – one of what his mom had always called his “sunshine smiles”.In that one kiss had been all of the electricity that Don had been whipped and abused to find.Will blinked at him, looking dazed. Don knew the power of that smile but couldn’t help it.

“Maybe it’s just rebound,” Don said cheerfully. “But I don’t care.”

Will reached down, grabbed the back of Don’s head and kissed him again.This kiss had double the electricity of the first one and it was Don that broke it again, panting a little.His mouth was still sore and tender and the rest of him, well …

Don stepped back from Will and grinned.“I’ll call you in a couple of days for another health check.”

Will stared at him then snapped, “You are a bastard.”

“Yes, you’re just figuring that out?”Don laughed, and picked up his keys and left the house.He hummed as he walked to his car, and though he still moved painfully, he felt better than he had in a long time.


	16. Truth and anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don and Will have a vicious argument, then Don admits what happened to his team, and later, to Charlie.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 16  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 16 - Truth and anger

 **Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.  
******

  
**  
** ********** **

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  
  
  


_/…Looking for one safe place…/_

Don had to work late on Wednesday.On Thursday, he went over to Will’s house for a health check.He had every plan to kiss Will again and his heart sped up at the prospect.Will let him in, a smile on his face that said he planned on repeating the activity as well.Don might not be up for anything else yet, but his mouth was mostly healed and he was looking forward to tasting those lips while he ran his good hand through that silky hair.

First things first, though, and Don went into the bedroom and pulled off his shirt.

Will came over to him, frowning.“Your shoulders look really inflamed, your chest and back some too.”

Don looked at his right shoulder and said, “Oh, that’s probably just from the vest I wore today.”

“ _What?_ ”Will snapped.

“We were going into this situation and I couldn’t exactly go in naked.”

Will took a step back.“You’re going out on active duty?”

“Sure, I mean I can still hold a gun without using my broken fingers and—“

“Don,” Will said, alarmed, “You’re in no shape to be on active duty.”

“I’m okay,” Don shrugged.

“Not you’re _not_ okay,” Will argued.“I know exactly what sort of shape you’re in.And you’re not ready.”

Don yanked his shirt back on and asked evenly, “Who are you to protect me?”

“Apparently, I’m your doctor.”

Anger surged through Don.“Oh, so you save my life and now you own it?”Don asked in a low, furious voice.

“It gives me the right to be concerned, yes,” Will responded, just as furiously.

“You can’t protect me forever,” Don said, grabbing his suit coat and pulling it on.

“What makes you think I’m protecting you anyway?”Will argued.“You’re gonna get someone else killed.One of your agents, a cop, someone just standing nearby because you’re so much slower than everyone expects you to be.”

“I know what I’m doing.” Don got up and stalked out into the front room.

“Oh, you’re a _real_ good judge,” Will snapped.“You’ve shown such admirable good sense before now.You’d have let Channing kill you if I hadn’t stopped him.”

A red haze swept across Don’s vision.“At least I didn’t spend God knows how long as a drug whore,” Don snarled.

“That was a long time ago,” Will said, his hands bunched into fists.“Don’t you dare throw that back at me.”

“Why not?Once a whore, always a whore.”

“ _Bastard_ ,” Will said, his voice trembling with anger.“No wonder Colby chose Charlie over you.I should have left you were, standing in your own blood.”

“Maybe you should have.Since I obviously don’t live up to your high standards of conduct.”

“I will not,” Will growled, “have on my conscience someone else’s death because I saved some sex-crazy moron from getting what he deserved.”

“Too bad you weren’t under Channing instead.Sounds like you would have enjoyed it.”

Fire blazed in Will’s eyes.“I saved your career and I will destroy it if I have to.”

“Are you _threatening_ me?”

“If you don’t take yourself off of active duty, I will.”

Don said disdainfully, “What are you gonna do about it?”

Will stepped closer and said into Don’s face, “I will destroy your reputation and rip your career to shreds, so bad that you won’t be able to get a job as a floor sweeper.”

“And how would your team feel if they knew about your past?” Don shot back, his whole body shaking with anger.

“At least I’m not a menace to people around me who are trusting me.God, Charlie did get all the brains in the family, and looks like all the balls too.”

Don grounded his teeth and strode to the door.“Thanks for your help,” he snarled in a voice that was anything but grateful.“But I don’t need anyone else to run my life.”

Will gave a hollow laugh.“Can’t do a worse job than you’re doing.”

“Goodbye, Will,” Don said, opening the door, “There won’t be any more health checks.”

“Thank God,” Will sneered. “You were really getting on my nerves.”

Don slammed the door behind him and stormed to his car.He got into his car and drove halfway home before the red haze cleared and his body started to shake with reaction.He pulled off the road and put his head in his hands.

He hated Will, _hated him, hated him_ … because he was right.Don was in no shape to be out on active duty and he had been putting everyone around him in danger.In the action just today, he was almost too slow to put down covering fire for Megan.He’d been so furious about Will questioning his fitness, even if he had good reason to, that he had fought back with all the dirty ammunition he had.

His heart sank as he remembered the things he had said to Will. _What a bastard you are, Don._ Like every other time in his life, he had just sabotaged a relationship before it could really get started. _Maybe it’s for the best, anyway._ He owed Will a huge debt, but there was no long term there, no future.Better to cut it off now before it got too hard.

He repeated this to himself over and over again as he pulled the car back on the road and slowly drove to his apartment.He ignored the fact that a tear was working its way down his cheek and wondered if he had any beer.

 

As soon as Don got to work the next morning, he called Megan, David and Colby into an interview room and shut the shades.His three agents were looking at each other, trying to figure out what was going on.

Don waited for them to sit down then got right to the point.“Starting Monday, I’m putting myself on two weeks of Medical Leave.”

“Your fingers?”Megan asked.“Are they not healing?”

“That will be the story that I tell people, yes,” Don said quietly.

“But?” David asked.

“But you guys deserve to know the truth.”Don grimaced.“You trust me to be there for you and I’ve been an ass the last week and put you guys in danger.This was … brought to my attention last night and … I’m sorry.Thank god it was a quiet week.”

Three pairs of eyes were fastened on Don, waiting.Don sighed.“I got myself into a situation that I thought I could handle but I couldn’t.It got away from me, in a bad way.”His lips twitched and he added bitterly, “I didn’t hurt my fingers playing basketball.”

With reluctant fingers, Don unbuttoned his shirt and exposed his chest.He then rolled up his right sleeve and leaning over, his right pant cuff.He straightened back up to a horrified silence.He said wryly, “And this is after a week of healing.Be very happy you didn’t see me a week ago.”

“It’s extensive.” Don rolled his pant leg back down then his cuff and began buttoning his shirt up again.“Bruises, cuts, abrasions, burns on every part of my body that isn’t covered with a suit.Some serious second-degree burns and,” He shuddered, “some pretty significant anal tearing.My fingers were shattered into at least five pieces.I lost a great deal of blood and could have probably used a transfusion but I was too … stubborn to go to the ER.”

The others blinked at him, taking in what he’d just said.Don braced himself for their questions.

Colby found his voice first, “God, Don, what happened to you?”

David said slowly, “Wrist and ankle restraints …”

“You’ve got to press charges,” Megan said.

“No,” Don said firmly.” I do not.”

“But—“ Megan began.

“Why didn’t you call us?”Colby said angrily.“You needed help and you should have called us.”

Don rubbed his forehead.“Because I’m an idiot.”That seemed to be the only excuse he had these days.“I didn’t want you guys to see what I’d gotten myself into.I was so sure that I could handle anything, but I was wrong.”

David frowned and asked bluntly, “If you were that badly injured, how did you survive?”

Don’s lips twisted.“Not because of any great feat on my part.A... friend helped me.He patched me up and got me through the first two days.”

“Who?”Megan asked.Her tone asked, _Who do you trust more than us?_

“No one you know.”

They didn’t look satisfied with that answer, but Don wasn’t going to bring Will into this.That would be poor payment for what he’d done.

“In fact,” Don continued, “I owe you guys an apology for the last month.I haven’t been on my game for a while.”

“We’ve noticed,” Megan said wryly.“Ever since you were out of the office for two days because of ‘the flu.’What happened a month ago?”

Don pressed his lips together and looked at Colby.Colby stared at him blankly for a moment then went pale.“Don … I didn’t realize.”

“Eh, it’s not your fault,” Don said, attempting a casual tone and completely failing.“I’d put … what happened in the category of the breath that toppled the whole shaky house of cards.”

David and Megan were looking back and forth between Don and Colby.

“What happened?” David snapped.

Colby gave a tight shake of his head.“Later.”

Don straightened his tie.“I’ll be in the office all day today, doing paperwork and desk stuff.If there’s anything you know you’re gonna need from me in the next two weeks, now’s your chance.”Don turned towards the door.“Talk among yourselves now, but when you leave this room, this is a closed subject.I’ll be at my desk.”

“Why—“ Megan started.

“That’s all I’m gonna say,” Don snapped, then relented with the faintest of smiles.“At least for now or anytime soon.”

He met the eyes of David and Colby.“You can tell her, if you want.”Their shared history, from Watson on, hung in the air between them.“As much as you want, but I think she should know.”The faint smile returned to Don’s face and he said, “It’ll give her analysis material for years.”

He pushed the door open then said to Colby, “Let me tell Charlie, okay?”Colby nodded.

As Don let the door swing shut, he heard Megan demand, “Tell me what?”

Don went to his desk and waited for the day to start.

 

It was a good hour before his team came out of the closed room.Megan looked like she’d been hit by a two-by-four.Her eyes rested on Don and he felt like a prized subject for a psychological dissertation. _Okay, that’s not fair.I know she cares about me and is worried about me, but I hate feeling so damn stupid.Especially – I’ll admit it – to a woman who is smarter and tougher than I am._

Don spent the day doing paperwork, signing expense reports, and ducking Megan’s elliptic forays about everything from Watson to Charlie and Colby to his current condition.By the end of the day, he was exhausted.He swallowed the urge to call Will and see if he could come over.Don had screwed that relationship up permanently.He’d burned and broken and bombed that bridge.

Instead, Don drove slowly to the Eppes house.He had one more person he needed to talk to.He realized that he had manage to avoid seeing Charlie for the whole week and wondered if Charlie has suspected something. _Naw, he never wonders anything about other people._ With that uncharitable thought, Don pushed open the front door.

“Charlie, you home?”

No answer so Don tried the garage.

“Charlie?”

“Oh, hey, Don!” Charlie said, turning from his chalkboard.“Haven’t seen you all week, something up?”

_Okay_ , Don chided himself, _sometimes he wonders._ “Charlie …” he started then said, “Can you please put down the chalk for one second?”

Charlie looked at the chalk still in his hand then sighed.“I was going good but I’m not gonna be able to pick it up again now anyway.”

“Sorry about that,” Don said sincerely.

Dropping the chalk into the tray, Charlie turned to Don.“What’s up?New case?”

“No, just personal stuff.”Don said, casting about for a way to start.Finally he said, “I’m going to take two weeks off of work starting next week.”

Charlie’s eyebrows shot up.“A vacation?Where are you going?Are you going with someone?Or shouldn’t I—“

“I’m not going anywhere and it’s not vacation, it’s medical leave.”

Charlie frowned and seemed to notice Don’s splinted fingers for the first time.“What happened?Were you shot?Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Slow down, Charlie,” Don said and tiredly leaned against the wall.“I wasn’t shot.I was just stupid.”

“A car accident?”

“No, a life accident,” Don said with a hollow laugh.“I’m not going to go into details, so don’t ask.Just understand that I got among people who think hurting other people is fun and sexy.”

“You …” Charlie’s eyes were wide.

“Yes, I asked for it.”

“You … wanted someone to break your fingers?”

“Only sort of,” Don sighed.“Things got really out of hand.I got trashed from head to foot and I need to take some time to heal.”

“Trashed how?”Charlie asked, his voice strained.

Don grimaced and for the second time that day exposed parts of his battered body.

Charlie was speechless with horror.“Donnie?” he said at last in a small voice.“Why?”

Don covered himself back up.“Maybe someday I’ll tell you,” he said tiredly.

“Does … does Dad know?”

“Yeah,” Don said.

Charlie pressed his hands together, his eyes bright with confusion and unshed tears.

_Thank god he didn’t see me a week ago._ Don stepped to one side.“Colby knows too,” he said quietly.“Go to him.”

Charlie bit his lip, glanced down at Don’s body one more time, then rushed out of the garage.

Don dropped tiredly into the popasan chair.Depression swept over him.Charlie was going to Colby, nothing had changed.Things could have changed, maybe, but once again Don had screwed it up permanently.

_Will…_ he thought with a throb of pain, then pushed Will out of his mind for good.

 


	17. Retribution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don tries to make it through his days without Will. His team gets him to tell who abused him. They go to see Channing, and Don is forced to confront him.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 17  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 17 - Retribution  
Don visits Channing - with backup.

 **Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.  
******

  
**  
******

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html) .  


 

For the next two weeks, Don healed, slept, cleaned his apartment, did small jobs around Charlie’s house, and healed more.With grim determination, he went back to sleeping in his own bed.

At first Charlie and his dad treated him like he was fragile, but eventually things went back to normal.They’d been given a glimpse of the true darkness that Don had fallen into and were happy to move on. Don himself felt more alive than he had before The Chamber, so maybe there was some good in the whole mess after all.Feeling alive meant feeling angry, lonely and bereft.But at least he was feeling.He began to learn how to function inside this new Don.

When two weeks were up, Don went back to work.By that time most of his body was back to functional, though it would be another four weeks before the pins could come out of his fingers.At first, his team treated him strange, looked at him sideways, and whispered in the halls.Then the team got into a nasty hostage situation and Don reacted normally, maybe even more normally than he would have three weeks ago, and everyone loosened up.

A month after Don was back at work, his team cornered him.The three agents looked determined.

“We’ve been very patient,” David said, “But you need to tell us who did that to you.”

“Did what?”Don asked, stalling.

Colby made a scoffing sound and David said, “You know what.”

“Don,” Megan said, stepping forward and fixing him with her best profiler stare.“You might think that you’re okay with what happened.That you somehow asked for it, deserved it, but that’s not true.You were hurting emotionally and someone took incredible advantage of you.”

“Someone who deserves to be drawn and quartered,” Colby grumbled.

Megan made a shushing gesture towards Colby.“Even if you’re not willing to acknowledge that, we know it’s true.We care about you and some evil person did terrible things to you.It may not be noble, but it’s completely reasonable for us to want to … express to that person how we feel about it.”

“Beat the crap out of him,” David translated.

“Guys,” Don said uneasily. “It’s okay.”

Don had thought a lot about what to do about Channing.He’d planned on looking him up and beating the crap out of him himself, but he kept putting it off.The truth was that while he was furious at Channing, he was still afraid of him.Afraid that Channing would turn him back into that desperate, unfeeling, passive animal that he had been.

“It’s not okay,” Colby snapped.

“What Colby means,” Megan said firmly, “is that we believe that you need to confront this … person and find closure.”

“Closure,” David repeated, with a grim twist of his lips.

“I can put it in fancy Psychological terms if you want,” Megan said, smiling slightly.

That phrase sent an unexpected jolt of pain through Don.Will had said something extremely close to that when Don was trying to decide if he should sleep in Will’s arms.He swallowed against the now familiar surge of sadness that thoughts of Will brought.

“Don?” Megan asked, and her eyes were dark and angry like he’d only seen a few times before.“Let us do this for us, for you.”

“I’ll think about it,” Don said and pushed past them.

He went to the bathroom and threw up.He washed his face and stared at himself in the mirror for a long time. _Closure_ , he thought, _that’s what I need.I’ll feel better after that.I’ll stop thinking of Will._

Going back into the office, Don stopped by Megan’s desk.“Tonight after work. I’ll drive.”

Megan nodded quickly, her eyes flashing, then asked him a question about the case they were working on.

 

That evening Don put off finishing work for as long as he could.Eventually his team tired of his tactics and almost dragged him to the elevator.Don got into his car, waited for the other three to get in, then drove slowly to The Chamber.

He sat in the parking lot and looked at the building for a long moment while the others waited in silence.The parking lot was less full than it had been when he was coming here regularly.Maybe the drug raid had scared away some of the members.

Finally, Don unlocked his glove compartment and placed his badge and gun inside.He waited for the other three to do the same then locked it again.He climbed out of the car.He walked to the door of The Chamber, his team on his heels.When he got to the door, he held up a hand for them to wait outside.They looked like they wanted to argue but waited as Don pushed open the door to the building.

“Hi, Don,” said the familiar receptionist. “Haven’t seen you for a while!”

“Nope,” Don said and gripped his hands into fists.“Is Channing here?”

The receptionist looked surprised then grim.“We’ve cleaned things up a lot here, Don.We have a whole new management and a whole new attitude.”

“Good,” Don snapped.“Now, is he here?”

“We’ve restricted certain members to a very limited scope of activity under strict supervision—“

“ _Is he here?_ ”

The receptionist swallowed at the command in Don’s voice.“Yes, in his room.”

Don nodded, then went and opened up the door to the outside.The receptionist’s eyes widened as David, Colby, and Megan came through the door.He reached for the phone but hesitated.He pulled his hand from the phone and pretended to be busy at his desk.

Don pushed open the door and walked down the familiar hall.His chest felt constricted and couldn’t take a full breath. He stopped when he realized that he was heading towards the locker room and turned a different direction.He reached a door, the door he’d only been through twice in his life but that he would always remember, and placed his hand on it.

There was no noise from inside so Channing was probably between ‘pieces of meat.’Don took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

The room inside was exactly as Don remembered it, though the blood had been cleaned from the floor and the apparatuses.He felt the others come in behind him and heard Megan gasp at the brutal utility of the place.

When they shut the door behind them, the far door opened and out stepped Channing.He looked just like the day that he’d had Don under his hands.Don went cold and hot and dizzy.

Channing stared at the four people in the room and turned back to the door.

“Not so fast,” Colby said, blocking the exit.“We want to _talk_ with you.”

“Channing,” Don said at last, his voice flat with the effort to keep it from shaking.

Channing’s rabid eyes turned to Don and recognition dawned.“You …”He took a step towards Don and it took everything Don had not to back away.“One of my few failures.”His voice was silky smooth, the voice that haunted Don’s dreams.

Reassessing the four of them, Channing smiled.It was a frightening smile - pleased, superior, anticipatory, predatory.“I don’t usually do groups,” he said, then looked at Megan, “Or women.But I’ll make an exception for you.”

Channing reached towards Don and Don grabbed his wrist.

“Never again, you bastard,” Don snapped.“I will never let you do that to me again.”

“But you wanted it,” Channing purred.“You asked for it.”

“I didn’t know what the hell I was doing,” Don growled.“I was sick and you took advantage of me.”

“Nonsense,” Channing said, “We were so close.”

“Close to what?Death?”Don said, anger fighting against the spell that Channing’s voice was trying to weave over him.

“Death is only the ultimate surrender.”

“No, hurting and killing people is just how you get your rocks off,” Don hissed.“There’s no greater calling here, you’re just a fucking psychopath and you’ve finally hurt someone who will fight back.”

“Oh really?”Channing smiled.“Without me, you’ll never get what you need.”

Don let go of Channing’s wrist and smashed his fist into Channing’s face.Channing stumbled back, his nose streaming blood.Don followed with a second punch and Channing fell back against the wall.

Channing touched his nose.He looked surprised … and offended.Don’s vision went red and then he was hitting and kicking Channing with all the strength of his rage and pain. Channing curled up into a ball on the floor.

“Don,” Colby shouted, pulling him back.“You don’t want to kill him.”

Don struggled against Colby’s grip.“Yes, I do,” he snarled.

“No,” Megan said, her voice steel.“If you do, he wins.”

Don grimaced and turned away, pushing himself from Colby.Colby let him go, then he and David stepped in between Channing and Don.

“We’ll take it from here,” Colby said.

“Megan, Don,” David said, his voice quiet and terrible.“Wait out in the hall.”

_I shouldn’t let them, I shouldn’t …_ Don nodded and headed out the door.Megan followed slowly, the same battle on her face.

Don sat down in the hallway, his head in his hands.He had confronted Channing and he hadn’t folded, hadn’t turned passive and helpless.He felt Megan’s hand on his shoulder and reached for it.They held hands and sat there in silence as sounds came through the wall - screams, grunts, thuds.From the look on her face, Megan probably wanted to be in there too but Don was grateful for her presence here.

Finally the sounds faded, until all that was left was a sobbing whimper.

The door opened and Colby came out first, looking a little green but resolute.David followed behind him, buckling up his belt.The expression on David’s face was an awful mixture of satisfaction and disgust.Both men were splashed with blood, their knuckles raw.David and Colby traded a look of grim approval with Megan then Don and Megan stood up.

“He’ll live,” Colby said. “Though he may wish that he doesn’t.”

Don pointed to a door a few doors down.“There’s a bathroom to … clean up.”

David and Colby disappeared into the bathroom.Megan looked at Don silently, like she was trying to find something normal to say.David and Colby returned and Don said, his voice shaky, “Let’s get out of here.”

The other three nodded and they walked down the hall with an air of relief.

As they walked by the receptionist, Don said, “You’ll want to call an ambulance.”The receptionist’s eyes widened and he reached for his phone.

They left the building and walked towards the car.Don breathed in the fresh outside air and felt lighter than he had in a while.It was wrong, he shouldn’t delight in … whatever they’d done to Channing.But he did, and hoped Channing would remember it for a very long time.

“How about we find a bar, team?” Don said, smiling.“First round is on me.”

David, Colby and Megan looked at each other in silent communication.Then they seemed to relax.Relax in a way that Don realized they hadn’t done since the day a month and a half ago when he showed them his wounds.

“Just as long as it’s not a Bud,” Megan said.“I want at least a Heineken.”

“Microbrew,” David said cheerfully.“Something very pricey.”

“You’ll get what I buy you and like it,” Don grinned.

“Yes, boss,” Colby said meekly.

“But no Bud,” Megan insisted, and they all laughed.


	18. Time and baseball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes and Don heals in body and mind, trying to put his lonely life back together. After four months, Don sees Will again in the last place he would expect - the baseball diamond.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 18  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 18 - Time and baseball

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.  
******

  
**  
** ********** **

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html). I tried to write this section about baseball so that you don't need to know anything about it, but couldn't find someone who didn't know anything about baseball to check. *g*  
  


 

Three months went by from the That Day, as Don privately called it.Don didn’t go to any more gay bars or clubs.He did go to a few coffee houses and such, where he let himself look openly at both men and women.His wounds were, in large, completely healed with only faint scars, some small spots on his chest where hair wouldn’t grow back, and a slightly crooked left pinkie.

Don fought daily the urge to just drift through his life.He forced himself to be present, _there_ , for every situation.When he was at work, he tried to be the best agent he could, pushing himself even harder than before.When he wasn’t at work, he teased his brother, played golf with his father, and tried not to drink more than three or four beers a night.He never thought about Will. In fact, he spent a great deal of time thinking about how he never thought about Will.

Don was Charlie’s support when Charlie told his dad about his love for Colby.… And got to enjoy Charlie’s shock from the other side when his dad took in all in stride.Colby came over to the house after that, unsure of his welcome at first, but soon he was a regular fixture around the dinner table and anywhere else Charlie was.Don found it inside him to be happy for them, and he was glad.

The Ducks did make it to the playoffs and Don even splurged on a ticket to a second-round game against the Avalanche.He left after the first period since he kept wanting to turn and comment on something to Will.

He spent a number of hours wandering around malls, searching for something appropriate to send to the man that saved his life, reputation and body but then had quarreled with bitterly.It wasn’t until he was waiting for a suspect outside an art gallery that he saw it.He came back later and spent way too much money for it, but it was perfect.

He didn’t know Will’s home address, though he could have found out fairly easily, but somehow sending something to Will’s house seemed too personal.Too much emotion and memory was tied up with that house.

Don pulled the lovely thing out of the box and stared at it.It was a small sculpture about the size of a fist and it was of a tiger.It wasn’t some generic “realistic representation” though.It was slightly stylized and showed the tiger about to leap, but somehow the artist had captured in its orange and black striped stone the _essence_ of a tiger.It was also the essence of the look that Will had given him when they first met.Don wondered if, when Will collected tigers as a kid, he realized he’d ever turn into one himself.

Sighing, Don put the tiger back into the box, and sent the box to Will’s office through interdepartmental mail.

After about three and a half months, Don invited David over to his apartment for some fun.At first David went slowly, until Don was reassured that all his parts were back in working condition.Then they went at each other with gusto.David stayed all night and they had a lot of fun.But in the morning, when David got ready to leave, they looked at each other and silently acknowledged that this wouldn’t happen again in the foreseeable future.

Though he tried not to allow them, thoughts of Will would sometimes overwhelm Don, usually late at night or when he saw a tall dark-haired man.In his new mode of trying to be honest with himself, he admitted that he was afraid of Will, afraid of himself.Going down that path only meant heartache.He told himself firmly that Will was out of his life.That sometime he would find a nice girl who would make him forget all about Will.

June arrived and baseball season for the local League started.Don let himself be talked into playing first base and batting clean-up, the power hitter spot, for the FBI’s team.The league this year had splurged on real uniforms and Don felt a sense of déjà vu as he pulled on the form-skimming baseball pants and tucked in the short-sleeved button-front jersey.He’d even been able to get his old number.He eyed himself in the mirror and decided that he hadn’t gone too downhill in his years in the FBI.He clapped a cap over his new short hair and went out to meet LAPD’s team.

The second game of the season was against the DEA.Don half hoped, half feared he’d see Will. _Baseball isn’t his thing,_ Don told himself firmly, in an attempt to settle his anxiety.

After Don got in his uniform, he stuck his head out of the clubhouse and examined the DEA’s dugout then the stands.No sign of Will.He bit down an irrational disappointment.He was tossing a ball around the infield with his teammates to get loose when he happened to look over to the bullpen, the area where pitchers warmed up.Only the bottom half of the bullpen was visible, the rest blocked by the scoreboard.Someone with very nice legs and ass was warming up for the DEA.As Don watched what he could see of the pitcher, his heart began to pound and he knew with a certainty. _Will …_ He felt dual surges of excitement and panic.

When it was time for the game to start, Don left the field with one eye on the bullpen.Will came trotting out, and Don ducked his head and went into the dugout to join his team.Once he was safely on the bench, Don let himself look at Will. _Damn, he makes that uniform look good._

The DEA were the home team, which meant that the FBI was up to bat first and since Don batted fourth, he could just watch Will for a while.It was normal for a player to watch the opposing pitcher, so no one would suspect that he was relearning Will’s body with his eyes.Will’s legs that were firm and perfectly shaped, Will’s muscular arms flexing under the jersey, Will’s hands as he gripped the ball.His hair was tightly confined out of his face and fell in a dark ponytail down his back.Don remembered how that hair had felt against his cheek, how it spilled across the pillow in a silken cloud as he slept in Don’s arms.Will’s lips were now pursed in concentration, just like they had been when he’d bathed Don’s wounds.Lips which would curve easily into a smile or twist into a quick temper.He longed for Will’s eyes to turn to him again, those eyes that burned through all artifice and saw straight to his soul.

Don’s chest tightened.For all his attempts at self-honesty, he’d been lying to himself for the last four months.He now knew with perfect clarity that there would be no next “nice girl.”There was only Will.And he’d ruined that.

“Don?” said someone next to him with the tone of voice that said she’d been calling his name for a while now.

Don blinked and looked over at Megan.She was the FBI’s catcher, so she was muffled inside a mask and protective layers.She swung up the mask and looked at him.“I asked if you knew him.”

“Who?”Don asked.

Megan smiled.“Will Stevens, the pitcher.”

“I met him once.”

“Must have been some meeting,” Megan commented.“You look like you can’t decide whether to hit him or kiss him.”

Don winced.“That obvious?”

“Only to a trained observer,” Megan said cheerfully.“As in anyone who’s got two eyes.”

“Thanks for the warning,” Don said.“I’ll try to be less obvious.”

“Oh, you can be obvious if you want.”Megan grinned.“It’s adorable.”

Don gave her an embarrassed glare and walked down the bench to find his bat. 

The first three FBI batters ended up getting outs, so Don didn’t make it up to bat during the FBI’s turn to hit that inning.For the bottom of the inning, Don trotted out to first base.He had to pass Will coming in from the field, but Will didn’t even glance his way.Don tried not to be hurt by that, telling himself that was just as he deserved.

The DEA’s first three batters went down in order too, so suddenly it was the second inning and Don was walking to home plate, the bat in his hand.Before he stepped into the batter’s box, he looked at Will.Will’s eyes slid over him, like he didn’t even know him.Don had expected anger, not this … nothing.Maybe those three days he’d spent with Will didn’t mean as much to him as they had to Don.Was Will’s ‘crush’ so easily forgotten?

Don bit back a sigh, stepped up to the plate, got ready to swing … and then found himself flat on the dirt where he’d instinctively thrown himself when the ball had come hurtling at his head.He got back up and brushed the dirt off.He glared out at Will, and Will made a generic apologetic gesture and said something about the ball slipping.But Don could see a smile hovering around Will’s mouth.

_Okay, so that’s how you want to play it …_

Setting himself back into the box, Don got ready.He fouled off the next few pitches until he got the one he wanted.He swung and set the ball blazing back to where it had come from.He dropped the bat and ran to first base.After he got to first base, he turned to look at the pitcher’s mound.Will was still getting up from the ground where he’d ended up while trying to both catch and avoid getting clobbered by Don’s ball.As Will climbed back to his feet, there was definitely a smile on his face.

Don made an apologetic shrug but inside he grinned. _Oh, it’s on._

When the next FBI hitter got up to bat, Don took a generous lead from first base.Will shot him a look and Don stepped back to the base before Will could throw the ball over.Will turned back to the hitter and Don took his lead again, sure that Will could see him out of the corner of his eye.Will stepped off and looked Don back to the base.

Will turned towards the hitter and threw to home plate and Don was off and running towards second base.The hitter swung and missed and the DEA catcher grabbed the ball and threw it to second base, but Don was already in with a slide.From the FBI bench, Don heard cheers at his stolen base.Don looked to Will who raised his eyebrows at the challenge.Will turned once again to the hitter at the home plate and Don took a lead from second.

Don let Will throw a few pitches to this hitter until he struck him out.The next hitter came up to the plate.Will turned towards home plate and Don took off towards third.Will spun and threw the ball to the third baseman.Don slid in face first but got tagged out.

He got to his feet, brushed off his uniform, and gave Will a mock glare.Will grinned and pointed for him to take his seat back on the bench.

Shaking his head, Don trotted off the field.

“You got thrown out stealing _third_?” Don’s teammates groused as Don got back to the bench.  
  
“Sorry, guys,” Don said, grinning.“I’ll make it up to you.”

“Okay,” Megan leaned over and said to him, “So you decided to hit him _and_ kiss him.”

Don laughed, “I guess so.”He leaned against the wall and watched Will pitch.There were flaws in Will’s delivery, no surprise, since Don was used to watching pro pitchers.But his movements were smooth, easy, and Don was reminded that Will was a fourth-degree black belt in Aikido.So much strength and grace in one body.He remembered how Will’s arms had felt around him, surprising him with the rightness of that embrace.If Don was in bed with Will right now, though, he wouldn’t be sleeping …Don’s body heated up as he imagined Will naked underneath him, his hair spread over his shoulders, his eyes mated with Don’s as Don slowly fucked him.

Swallowing against an incredible surge of arousal, Don remembered where he was, and more specifically, what he was wearing.These form-fitting pants showed every line of his body, including the hard shape of his cock now pressing against the fabric.

He closed his eyes and tried to breathe deeply. _Think of Channing._ The lingering shadow of anger and humiliation that name conjured up helped Don for a moment, then he remembered Will’s gentle touch on his body, Will’s hands holding him under the shower, Will’s wet body so close to his.

“Dammit,” Don snapped, earning a look from Megan.

_1936, Joe DiMaggio_ , he recited to himself. _New York Yankees, 637 at bats, 206 hits, 29 home runs, season average .323, four stolen bases._ Don continued, the numbers running through his mind in a soothing pattern. _1937, Joe DiMaggio, New York Yankees, 621 at bats, 215 hits, 46 home runs, season average.346, three stolen bases._ By the time he got to 1941 and DiMaggio’s second MVP, his body was under control again.

None too soon since Will struck out the last FBI hitter and Don then had to trot out to first base.This time when he passed by Will, their eyes met briefly and a tingle went through Don.

The bottom of the second inning and top of the third went by quickly as Don spent his time watching Will and trying not to watch Will.At the bottom of the third inning, Will was up to bat.Don was so distracted by the way Will gripped the bat that he almost missed the ball that sailed in his direction.He backed up and took it on one hop, then tried to get to first base before Will.Will flew down the baseline and beat Don without even sliding.

Don tossed the ball back to the pitcher.Will stood with one foot on first base, Don behind him.Neither looked at the other.

“Been a while, Eppes,” Will said.

“Too long,” Don said.

Will’s eyes flashed towards him then away.“How are you doing?”Will asked, the usual polite question taking on greater meaning.

“I’m doing okay,” Don said.“Doing good.You?”

“Been getting by,” Will said.

Don didn’t get a chance to reply as the game’s action took Will to second base.He didn’t get another opportunity to talk with him for the rest of the game.Don took control of his eyes, which kept wanting to search out Will, and tried to concentrate on the game.

For the seventh inning, the DEA’s relief pitcher came out and Will left the field.Will disappeared into the locker room and, once Don was able to banish the image of Will showering, Don turned his full attention to the game.

At the top of the ninth inning, Don hit a double, driving in the go-ahead run for his team.His nice catch at the bottom of the ninth ended the game with an FBI victory.

He accepted the congrats of his teammates then went to the locker room himself.Will was long gone and Don automatically showered and changed into jeans and a t-shirt.What, did he think Will would wait for him?After the game or in life in general?He was probably involved with a new crush.

With that depressing thought, Don took his gear back to the car and began packing it into the trunk.He had to find out if Will was with someone.Will had seemed happy to see him but …

“Hey G-man,” a familiar voice said, and Don turned to see Will smiling at him.

“Hey,” Don said, his throat tight.

They stood in silence for a moment, looking at each other, then Will said, “Some of us are going to a bar to drown our sorrows.Want to join us?”

“Are you sure I’d be welcome?”Don asked.

“I don’t really care,” Will said softly.

Not really trusting anything that would come out of his mouth, Don just nodded.He got into his car and waited for Will to get into his.As he followed Will’s car out of the parking lot, Don felt the same excitement mixed with fear that he felt when going into arrest a dangerous fugitive.Only this time, he had no Kevlar vest, no gun, no backup.


	19. A short stay at the bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don and Will feel one another out at the bar. They talk about nothing and everything and try to ignore how much they want each other.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 19  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 19 - A short stay at the bar

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.  
******

  
**  
** ********** **

**A/N:** This is part of a 24 part series. The song lyrics at the beginning of each part are from Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place." Thanks to my beta and first readers who reassured me that this story was working. For those who like visuals with their OCs ... [Will Stevens ](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/213819.html).  


 

“Hey, why’d you bring him here?”The DEA’s catcher called.

“Consorting with the enemy?”asked the DEA’s right outfielder.

“He’s an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while,” Will said easily.“Not my fault that Martinez couldn’t get him out in the ninth.”

Martinez grumbled at this, but no one seemed really unhappy to see Don.Maybe it was because Will himself seemed so happy to see Don.

Don sat down at a small table and looked around while Will got them some beer.It was an average bar, maybe a little nicer than usual, and the DEA group seemed like regulars.He wondered if this was a common law enforcement hangout and why the FBI had never heard of it.

Then he gave up on trying to be casual and just watched Will.Will was talking to one of his teammates as the bartender filled two glasses from the tap.Will laughed at something his teammate said and flashed a look over at Don.Don felt a shiver go through him.

Will grabbed the full glasses and walked towards the table.Don’s heart was in his throat and he was having trouble breathing.Will set one of the beers in front of Don and sat down across the table from him.

“Guinness, right?”Will asked.

“I’m not picky,” Don said, “But yeah, Guinness is good.”

“Not picky, hmm?” Will smiled.He took a long drink of his beer.

Don pulled his beer close and clenched his fingers around the glass. _God, where to start … An apology would be a good idea._ “Will, I’m so sorry about what—“

“Later,” Will interrupted him firmly.He gave him a sideways smile. “At the moment, I just want to find out how you are."

Don relaxed a little at Will’s smile and nodded.“I’m good, real good.In fact, David came over two weeks ago and gave me a thorough health check.”

“Oh, really?”Will’s smile widened.“Good to hear.”

“How about you?”

“Spring was long but the summer’s looking up,” Will said.

Don smiled and took a drink of his beer.It could have been water for all he tasted it.His whole brain and body was focused on the man a scant two feet away from him.Don cast about for something to say that _didn’t_ sound like, ‘God, I want you.’

“Ducks made it to the playoffs after all,” Will said.Don wondered if he too was looking for casual conversation.

“Yeah, they looked really good until they ran up against Edmonton,” Don said.

“True.”

“I went to one of the semifinals games against Colorado.”

“Oh?”Will asked.“Good game?”

“Don’t know, left after the first period.Kind of a drag to watch hockey by yourself.”

“Yeah,” Will said quietly.

Don took another swig of his beer and hoped his hands weren’t trembling.

Will also took a drink then said, “I love my tiger.Sits on my desk at work though I’m thinking about taking it home.Gotten too many threats to steal it.”

“Glad you liked it,” Don said, attempting a nonchalant tone.“It was nothing.”

“Oh, I really doubt that,” Will said wryly.“I looked up info on the artist.”

“Still,” Don said, “I had to get it.”

“Thanks for it.”

“Sure.”

Will nodded and Don looked down at his beer glass.

“I took some time off,” Don said at last.

“I know,” Will said quietly, acknowledging at least some of their fight.

So Will had checked up on him. _Of course, he did._ By now Will must be getting used to protecting Don from his own stupidity. _And other people from it too._ Don had heard about two hairy situations that his team had gotten into while he was out of the office, and it was a really good thing that Don hadn’t been there, endangering everyone.

Will asked, “What did you do with the time off?”

“Oh, puttered around my dad’s—I mean, Charlie’s house, played video game golf, ate, slept.” _Thought about you and why I shouldn’t call you._ “What about you?What have you been up to?”

“Work, of course, and … learning how to pitch.”

Don blinked.“You hadn’t ever pitched before?”

“In high school, yeah, but it had been ages.”

“You did … very well.”Don said.

“Thanks,” Will smiled.“Good to hear that I didn’t make a complete fool of myself in front of the professional.”

“Not at all,” Don said, his voice a little strained.While Don had been spending the last four months healing and trying to forget about Will, Will had been prepping so he could show up in the one place he knew Don would be – the baseball diamond.That answered Don’s question pretty thoroughly of whether there was someone else in Will’s life.His heart began to speed up.

Will set his glass down and pointed at Don’s left hand.“Your fingers good?”

Don held out his hand and flexed his fingers.“Pinkie ended up kinda crooked.”

“Not too bad though,” Will said, taking Don’s hand in his and examining it.“You can only see it if you’re looking for it.”

“I had to relearn my gun grip,” Don said, forcing his voice to remain steady as Will ran one finger down the length of his hand.“Funny how much you use your pinkie.”

Will kept hold of Don’s hand, his thumb rubbing circles in Don’s palm.“You cut your hair,” Will commented.

“Yeah, figured if it was shorter then it wouldn’t be as much of a pain.”Don ran his free hand over his new haircut.

“I like it,” Will said.“Very tough guy.”

“Still needs to be shampooed though,” Don said.Underneath the table, he slid his foot forward until his calf was touching Will’s.

Will smiled and his thumb moved down to the pulse point at Don’s wrist.“Might need some help with that.”

“Yeah,” Don said huskily, “Though I like my showers quite a bit hotter these days.”

“Good thing,” Will murmured.“I never liked cold showers.”

“God, will you two just get a room?” called the DEA’s catcher.

Don jerked back, blushing, though Will wouldn’t let him pull his hand away.The whole DEA team was grinning and watching their table.Don’s blush deepened.He couldn’t remember the last time he blushed.

“Hey, look at that,” another DEA player teased.“Didn’t know FBI guys were allowed to blush.”

“Take it easy on him,” Will laughed.“He’s just barely peeking out of the closet.”

“Looks like a lot more than peeking to me,” the DEA catcher said and the team laughed.

“How about it, Eppes?”Will said.

“How about what?” Don said, making another half-hearted attempt at pulling his hand out of Will’s grip.

“Your place or mine?”Will grinned.

Don’s eyes widened and his heart sped up, if that was even possible.He managed to find his voice.“My place is closer.” _And I want your presence imprinted on my apartment._

Will nodded and they quickly got up from the table.They walked out the door to a chorus of teasing catcalls.Don could still feel his blush.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Don turned around, grabbed Will’s shirt and pulled him close for a bruising kiss.Will kissed him back just as hard.

When they came up for air, Don said, “I missed you so much.” His hands ran down Will’s chest. “I knew you for three days and I missed you so much, how is that possible?”

“I missed you too,” Will said, stroking Don’s neck.“Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because …” There were far too many things that needed to be said, or unsaid, so Don just went with, “Because I’m an idiot.”

Will laughed.“Yes, you are, but so am I, so we’re a good match.”

“Yeah,” Don said, thinking about parts of his body he wanted matched up with parts of Will’s.“My place.”

“Oh, right,” Will said, moving away.Don almost pulled him near again then caught himself.He desperately wanted to take Will over the hood of the nearest car, pull Will’s hair while he pounded that firm ass.

“Follow me,” Don said hoarsely, and hurried to his car.He got into the driver’s seat, turned on the car, and waited for Will to get to his own car.As soon as Will turned on his headlights, Don put his car in gear and screeched out of the parking lot.He calculated the fastest route to his apartment and tried not to speed too much.


	20. Right now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving at Don's place, Will and Don manage - barely - to make it through the door before getting naked.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 20  


**Pairing:** Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 20 - _right now_

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**  
****

  
**  
A/N:** This will be around 24 parts long.  I ran out of song lyrics, but I consider Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place" the theme song for this story.

  


After an endless drive, though it couldn’t have been more than ten minutes, Don pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex.Will’s car was right behind him and it pulled with a squeal into the space beside Don’s. Will was opening his door before Don put his car into park.Don jerked the keys out of the ignition and unbuckled his seatbelt.Will opened Don’s door and dragged Don from his seat.He pressed Don up against the car, kissing Don’s mouth and eyes and face.Don slid his hands over Will’s ass.

“What will my neighbors think?”Don laughed as Will bit his left earlobe.

“They’ll wonder who is that gorgeous guy that Mr. Eppes found,” Will said, his mouth against Don’s neck.

“Soon,” Don groaned, his hands dipping into Will’s waistband. “They’re going to wonder who that naked guy with Mr. Eppes is.My apartment is over that way.”He gestured with an elbow.

Will stepped away from him and grabbed Don’s hand.“Hope it’s a short trip,” he said, yanking Don away from the car.

Don pressed the button to lock his car and led the way up the sidewalk, pulling Will along.They reached the door to his building, then the hallway in front of his apartment, then his apartment door, before Don had to turn and possess Will’s mouth again.As they kissed hungrily, Will took the keys from Don’s hand and leaned over to fumble a key into the door lock.He turned away from Don and tried all the keys before finding the right one.Don ran his hands over Will’s ass and thighs, his mouth busy on Will’s back.The door swung open with a bang.Will stepped forward, into the apartment, and Don followed.Don turned to shut and lock the door behind him, his fingers clumsy on the simple lock.

As soon as it was locked, Will yanked on Don’s shoulder, spun him around, and shoved him face first into the wall.Will’s hands were all over Don and his hard cock pressed against the thin layers of fabric between it and Don’s ass.Don levered himself away from the wall with both arms, and Will’s hands jumped to Don’s crotch.He rubbed Don’s throbbing cock through his pants as he pressed his own against Don’s ass.

Gasping, Don said, “Hurry!”He unbuttoned his jeans.

Will took a hold of Don’s waistband and dragged his pants and underwear down to his thighs.Don’s rigid cock sprang free and slapped against his stomach.Behind him, Don heard Will dragging down his own pants and the sound of a condom package being opened.

“Pre-lubed,” Will said quickly.

“Very prepared.”Don wanted to turn to see Will’s cock before it was covered in the thin sheath, but then Will’s hands were on his ass and his cock rubbing between Don’s asscheeks.

Will hesitated. “Is this okay?”

“Just fuck me already,” Don groaned.He didn’t care what happened first, who took whom, just wanted it to happen _right now._

Don felt a hard shape pressing against his asshole and he shifted his legs farther apart.The coolness of the lube warred with the warmth of Will’s condom-covered cock.Don tried to move backwards onto that hard cock but Will’s hands on his hips held him still.He recognized that Will didn’t want to hurt him, especially considering that Don hadn’t gotten any warm up.Don bit his lip with impatience as Will pressed in ever so slowly, stopping every inch or so to let Don adjust around him.

Then Will’s patience gave out and he buried himself the rest of the way into Don’s ass.Don groaned with mingled pain and pleasure, then Will began to move and it was pure pleasure.There was no slow ramping up of thrusts, no gradual increase.Will pulled almost out and slammed back into Don again, over and over, his fingers digging into Don’s hips.Don had to brace himself with one hand to avoid getting smashed into the wall.He made a circle of his other hand and held it in place around his aching cock, so that each thrust Will made into his ass was translated to a stroke down Don’s cock.Don’s body trembled with effort and pleasure and need.

“God, yes,” Will groaned, against Don’s hair.“Don ...so … _God._ ”

His pounding became frenzied, making Don fuck his own hand with wild strokes.Four months of wanting, needing, longing rose up in Don, merging with his coming orgasm.Will cried out and let go and then they were exploding together, two bodies fused into one bucking animal.

Seconds, minutes, years later, they slowed and stopped.Don collapsed against the wall, Will against his back, both panting heavily.Will rubbed his cheek against Don’s hair.Don released his spent cock from his slippery hand and pressed his forehead into the wall.Will’s hands slid down Don’s hips, his touch light.

“Damn,” Will said into Don’s hair.

Don mumbled, “Trust you to go to the heart of the matter.”

Will gave a gasping laugh and pulled Don away from the wall, into a tight hug.Don wiped his cum-covered hand on his pants, then put his hands on Will’s arms and leaned back against him.They stood there, catching their breath.

Finally Don said, “Couch.I have a couch here somewhere.”

“Right,” Will said, looking around.He moved away from Don, but not too far.They both pulled their pants back up – hard to walk with pants around their thighs – and stumbled to the couch.They collapsed down on it, side by side.


	21. Slower this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Don and Will go for round two, Don surprises Will by flipping the script.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 21  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 21 - Slower this time

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
 **Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
 **Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**  
 ****

  
**  
A/N:** This will be around 24 parts long.  I ran out of song lyrics, but I consider Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place" the theme song for this story.

Don reached over and kissed Will slowly, taking the time to explore the shape of Will’s lips, the taste of Will’s tongue, the warm recesses of Will’s mouth.Will gripped Don’s face and explored him just as deeply.Don’s fingers slid through Will’s hair, pulling out his hair tie so that his long black hair fell over his shoulders.

Will leaned back and tugged at Don’s t-shirt.Don raised his arms and Will slipped the t-shirt off.Will ran his hands over the smooth surface of Don’s chest and arms.

“You healed so well,” Will said in amazement.All that was left of Don’s injuries were the faintest of scars and a few hairless spots.

“It was your healing touch,” Don said, stroking Will’s hand.

Will smiled.“I have other kinds of touches too.”

“I know,” Don grinned. “I’m gonna think of you every time I sit down for the next week.”

“Oh, I hope so,” Will said.He leaned forward and kissed Don’s neck.His lips traveled down Don’s chest, just like his hands had when he was treating Don’s wounds.But the touch of his lips was much firmer and when his mouth reached Don’s right nipple, he soon had Don gasping and arching his back.Don held on to Will’s shoulders as Will sucked and teased Don’s nipple, drawing more sensation out of it than Don thought possible.Will lifted his head and kissed Don, so that Don tasted his own sweat on Will’s mouth.Will then leaned down and gave his other nipple the same treatment.Don’s cock ached, well on its way to recovery.

“Will?” Don gasped. 

Will licked his lips and lifted his head again.

“Move to the bed?” Don asked.

Will smiled and got up.He pulled Don up from the couch and kissed him, his hands on Don’s face, his t-shirt rubbing against Don’s sensitized nipples.Don jerked away, already breathing hard, and grabbed hold of Will’s hand.He towed him to the bedroom and shoved him to sit on the bed.His hands yanked up Will’s shirt to show that expanse of muscled golden skin that Don had only seen briefly.Running his hands down Will’s chest, Don climbed onto the bed, his knees on both sides of Will’s legs.

Don smiled down at him.“You wore those swim trunks on purpose, didn’t you?”

Will grinned. “Oh, a little.”

“That shower was pure torture.”

“You’re telling me.You were naked in front of me, water pouring over your body, and I couldn’t touch you without hurting you.”Will grimaced.“I almost hated you at that moment, for what you’d done to yourself.”Will’s grin returned. “You know I had to take a shower afterwards and jerk off.”

“Oh, really,” Don’s eyebrows rose.“I’m glad I didn’t know that at the time.Not sure I could have survived the mental image.As it was, I already wanted to kiss you and touch you and do all sorts of lovely things to you that I wasn’t up for.”

“Think you’re up for them now?”Will said, his hands running down Don’s hips.

“Definitely, more than up,” Don grinned, and pushed Will back against the bed.Don’s mouth took its time learning the smooth, muscular planes of Will’s chest, the taut, responsive nipples, the flat, ticklish stomach.Will’s fingers stroked Don’s face and neck, anything he could reach.

Don’s hands went to Will’s jeans and began unbutton them, his lips still busy on Will’s stomach.He sat back, and focused his attention on opening up the jeans – without brushing the already firm shape of Will’s cock that pressed against the fabric.Will raised his hips a little in protest, but Don peeled down Will’s jeans and underwear without giving Will the touch he wanted.Don got Will’s clothes all the way off, and Will lay on the bed beside him, every inch of his golden, firm body exposed to Don’s avid eyes.

“Well?”Will said, a little testily, “You gonna look all day?”

Don grinned and placed his hands on Will’s hips and leaned over to run the flat of his tongue up Will’s waiting cock.Will gasped, straining towards Don’s mouth, but Don held him down.Don teased the head of Will’s cock then sucked on the sensitive ridge just below the head.

Will groaned, squirming underneath him.

Don lifted his head and smiled at him.“You had your turn to drive, now it’s mine.”

“I hardly think that—“ Will started then, “Ohh…”, as Don lightly sucked the cock head into his mouth.Don sucked the head in and out for a moment, enjoying the popping sound as the head slid past his lips and the rasp of Will’s accelerated breathing.He then opened his throat and took Will deep, just like David had taught him.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Will moaned, his right hand clenching around Don’s nearest leg.

Don raised his head then took Will all the way in again.As Will’s cock filled his throat, he swallowed, massaging the cock with his throat muscles.

“Oh god yes Don,” Will moaned incoherently.

After a moment of that, and Will getting less and less lucid, Don lifted his head.Will’s face was flushed, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks.While Will was still trying to catch his breath, Don rolled him over and took a nice long look at Will’s ass and back.

He massaged Will’s back, scraping it lightly with his fingernails, then turned his attention to Will’s perfectly-shaped ass.He mouthed each cheek and parted the cheeks with his left thumb.His tongue followed his thumb so that, as his thumb pressed against the tight puckered circle of Will’s asshole, his tongue slid past it and speared inside.

Will gasped and pushed against Don’s tongue.Don stretched Will’s ass cheeks with both hands, holding him down against the mattress, and tongue-fucked Will until he was shuddering beneath him.Don sat up, wiped his mouth, and smiled with anticipation.

Don got up from the bed and began to take off his shoes and jeans.Will started to move and Don took his shoulders and pushed him back to the bed.

“Stay,” he commanded, and Will did.

Laying on his stomach, Will turned his head to look at Don, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded.Don took his time getting undressed then getting out a condom and lube.He stood in front of Will’s face and slowly rolled the condom over his ready cock.Will’s attention was fixed on that cock as Don slicked it with lube.

Don reached out a lube-wet finger and stroked Will’s cheek.“You want to be fucked, don’t you?”Don said, his words throbbing with arousal.“Will Stevens, DEA Superman, desperate for a fuck.”

“Yes,” Will said, his voice strained.

Smiling, Don climbed back onto the bed.He slung one leg over Will and sat down on Will’s thighs.He pressed his wet finger into Will’s ass, adding lube to his saliva.He slid a second finger inside and began stretching Will.It didn’t feel like Will needed much more warm-up, but Don was enjoying making Will wait.

Finally, he pulled his fingers out, lined himself up, braced his hands on both side of Will’s shoulders and slowly pushed inside.Don closed his eyes and shivered at the pure rightness of their joined bodies.Will gave a sigh of satisfaction.

Opening his eyes, Don drank in the sight of the man below him – his muscular back, his gentle hands now clenched in the blanket, this side of his face as he lay against the mattress, his hair scattered across his cheeks and shoulders.

Don lay flat against Will and pushed his hair aside, exposing the delicious length of Will’s neck.Don smiled to himself then leaned over and bit Will’s neck.Will arched his neck, whimpering with pleasure, and unexpectedly … melted.To have that strong, athletic man submissive beneath him sent an incredible jolt of excitement through Don.

Don kept his toothy grip on Will’s neck and rotated his pelvis, leisurely stroking.Will’s ass was the perfect mate to his cock – the shape, the fit, the heat.Don wanted to slow fuck that ass forever but soon his body demanded more movement.

Don released his bite on Will’s neck, licking the red spot that he left behind.He pulled out of Will’s ass and Will gave a grunt of protest.Don tugged on Will’s hips and moved Will until he was kneeling over the side of the bed.Don came around behind him, got on his knees, and quickly repossessed Will.Don ran his hands up and down Will’s back as he slowly fucked him again, the brief break giving him a chance to cool down slightly.

Soon, though, his cock was aching too sweetly and his motion sped up.He gripped Will’s shoulders and gave into the urge to slam himself into Will.The bed rocked as he pounded Will’s ass, the slap of his body against Will’s merging with small moans from Will.He felt his orgasm rising and he let go of Will’s shoulders and took two handfuls of his hair.

Will gasped as Don jerked his hair back.The silky hair in his fists was the last straw and Don let go, pounding wildly and freely, Will’s body shaking underneath him.His orgasm suddenly spiked and he was exploding into Will’s ass, then his orgasm spiked higher and higher still until he saw spots before his eyes.His hands in Will’s hair were trembling with fatigue by the time that Don slowed and stopped, gasping madly.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Will was saying over and over.Before Don even caught his breath, he realized that Will’s cock was still full and waiting.Don wobbily pulled out of Will, took Will’s hip and flipped him over, bending him backward over the bed.He put Will’s legs over his shoulders and, without preamble, sucked Will’s cock into his mouth.

Will groaned and arched his body, shoving his cock deep.Don pushed Will’s hips back to the mattress and held onto them with one hand.With his other hand, Don spread Will’s ass and shoved a finger into Will’s recently tenderized asshole.

“God,” Will moaned and struggled to move his hips, but Don controlled the rhythm and depth of his mouth on Will’s cock, alternating shallow sucks with deep ones.The tip of Don’s finger found Will’s prostate and rubbed it firmly.

Will’s moans abruptly grew deeper, wilder.Unable to thrust against Don’s lips, Will tugged urgently on his own nipples.Will’s whole body began to shake … and Don stopped his movement.

“Don!” Will cried. “God, please!”

Don smiled and began to move slowly again.Soon he was sucking Will in and out quickly, his finger fucking Will’s ass in time to his mouth.

Will’s body began to shake again, even harder than before.Don finally let Will’s hips go and Will’s body arched, slamming into Don’s mouth with a frenzy of thrusts and groans.With each movement of his hips, he also fucked himself on Don’s finger.

A splash of hot cum hit the back of Don’s throat and he swallowed, milking Will’s cock as Will thrashed underneath him.Will pounded his mouth for a long moment until Don’s lips were getting tired and his throat sore.Will finally came to a gasping stop and lay limp against Don’s mouth and shoulders, his eyes blankly staring at the ceiling above.Don gently sucked Will’s softening cock until it slid out from between his lips.He pulled his finger out of Will’s ass and pushed Will back onto the bed.Don got rid of his condom and, with a satisfied grunt, lay down beside Will.

Don reached over and stroked Will’s hair then ran his finger down Will’s cheekbones.The man was gorgeous.Even more so with his dark hair in a tangle, his mouth open and a flush over his flawless skin.

“That was damn good,” Will mumbled at last.“You so … in control.”

“Oh, you thought you’d always be in charge?” Don grinned.

“I’m glad to find out otherwise.”Will turned slowly towards him and said with a smile, “As you well know, it gets tiring to always be in charge.Sometimes you just want your brains fucked out.”

Don laughed, stretching himself luxuriously.“Requires you to have brains in the first place.”

“True,” Will said.“I forgot about that the lobotomy that comes with the badge.”

“Any badge,” Don agreed, and pulled Will close.He covered Will’s face and hair with kisses.

Will ran both hands over Don’s head and down his back.“You know,” Will murmured, “I think baseball is my new favorite sport.”

Don laughed and Will rolled him over and ended up on top.Will braced himself above Don and smiled down. “I also like doing the fucking.”

“I remember.”Don smiled.

“And being the one in control.”

Don raised his eyebrows, still smiling.“So each time will be a battle?” _And I hope to God there are many many more times._

“Not a battle, call it … a negotiation.”Will moved his hips lightly against Don’s.

“Each time will be a negotiation then,” Don said.

“Perhaps,” Will murmured.“Shall we find out?”He leaned down to kiss Don and his hair fell around their faces, a black curtain shutting off the world outside.

  



	22. The future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don and Will finally talk, and some amazing truths come tumbling out.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 22  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 22 - The future

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**  
**  
**

  
**A/N:** This will be 24 parts long.  I ran out of song lyrics, but I consider Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place" the theme song for this story.

Their third time was even slower, more touching and kissing, less urgency.Neither took control, they just moved together with effortless harmony and rhythm. Their orgasms rose like a slowly building wave, their mouths, hands, and bodies mated.In the end, Will again lay on top of Don, their cocks sliding against each other, their fingers entwined.They shared a single breath as they shuddered and came together, cum filling in any small gaps between them.

They lay for a long time, just holding each other.The silence was warm and content.Finally Don began to feel itchy and nudged Will to move.Will grumbled but rolled off of him.

Don got a wet washcloth from the bathroom and came back to the bed.With a soft touch, he wiped Will’s stomach, remembering the many times that Will had gently cleaned him.That reminded him of his injuries and Channing and … Don sighed.He wiped himself off then lay down next to Will.

“I have to tell you something,” Don said, reluctant to break the mood but knowing Will deserved to know.Will looked over at the seriousness in Don’s voice and Don continued, “My team, I told them.They needed to understand why I took that time off.”

Will frowned.“You told them … what?”

“Not about you,” Don said quickly. “Just that I had gotten myself into a situation that I thought I could handle but I couldn’t, and I got trashed.”

“True, if incomplete,” Will said, running his fingers up Don’s back, over the many tiny white scars.

“They, umm, eventually cornered me and talked me into giving up Channing.”

Will sat up quickly.“What?”

“I drove them to The Chamber – who claims they’ve cleaned up their act by the way – and we went and saw Channing.”

“Damn,” Will hissed.“Forcing you to go back there.”

“They didn’t force me,” Don said wryly. “They used psychology on me.”

“Still, it was a cruel thing to do.What were they trying to prove?”Will’s face had darkened, his ready temper coming to the surface.

“We all went and … talked with Channing.”Don felt himself go cold at the memory.

“Talked?”

“Okay, we talked briefly then I felt compelled to hit him, repeatedly.”

“Good for you!”Will’s eyes narrowed.“What happened then?”

“They dragged me off of him, because I was going to kill him.”

“Understandable,” Will said fiercely.“But then you left?”

“Umm, no.”Don said, his face pale.“Megan and I went out of the room and David and Colby … dealt with him.”

“Killed him?”Will snapped.

“No, they said he was alive and I didn’t really want to know what they’d done to him.I just know there was a lot of screaming and David and Colby came out with blood on their clothes.”

Will looked at him for a long moment, his nostrils flaring.He looked furious.

“Will?” Don asked tentatively, not really sure where Will’s anger was directed.

“I would have killed him,” Will said thickly.“I still want to kill him.”

“I know,” Don stated.“Then he wins.”

Will glared at him for a moment, then, sighing deeply, flopped down on the bed. “You’re right.And you have a darn smart team too.Though I’m as envious as hell that I didn’t get to Channing first.I just … wanted you to want me to go.”

“You can always wait until he gets out of the hospital then give him a second visit.”

“True,” Will smiled wickedly.

Don ran his finger over Will’s curved lips.Will kissed his finger.

Leaning over, Will rubbed Don’s bare ass.“It’s a good thing that he wasn’t there when I saw what he’d done to your sweet ass.I would have ripped him in half without hesitation.”

Don smiled.“Sweet is not usually a word I hear.Been told I have a nice ass, cute, sexy, but never sweet.”

“Well, you’re gonna be hearing it a lot from me,” Will said, giving Don’s ass a proprietary pat.

_Don’t ask, don’t ruin it._ But Don heard his mouth saying, “Just tonight?”

Will’s eyes grew soft and he touched Don’s cheek.“ _Aein_ ,” he said tenderly.“I’d tell you every day for the rest of your life, if you’d let me.

“What does ‘ay-in’ mean?”Don asked automatically.

“Beloved,” Will said, his voice almost inaudible.“Literally, ‘person of the heart.’”

“So you say,” Don said shakily.“For all I know it could mean ‘ugly monkey.’”

Will stroked Don’s cheek.“Don, I’m not demanding anything from you, not now.”

“Well, maybe you should,” Don said, his mouth continuing independent from his brain.“Maybe you should demand it.”

Will’s hand on Don’s face froze.“Demand what?”

Don swallowed then persevered, “Demand that I admit how I feel about you.Tell me that you won’t kiss me again until I tell you.”

“How do you feel?”Will asked, his eyes cautious.

Don took a strand of Will’s dark hair between his fingers and played with it as he talked.“I don’t know if I’ve ever been in love in my life.I’ve thought I was, but now I’m not so sure.”Don met Will’s eyes.“All I can say is, if what I feel for you isn’t love, then they better come up with a stronger word.”

A smile spread across Will’s face like the sun rising. “That was a very roundabout answer.”

“Yeah, well, it took me four months to get it to be that straightforward.”

Will took Don’s chin in his hand.“You say that I should be more demanding.”

Don said.“People will take advantage of you.”

“You’re the only one taking advantage of me that I can see.”

“True,” Don said with a small smile.

“Admit it then,” Will said huskily. “Or I won’t kiss you again.”

Don held Will’s eyes and said, quietly but firmly, “I love you, Will.”

“Wow,” Will murmured, stroking Don’s face with both hands.“It took you long enough to figure it out.I’ve loved you since I first saw you, breathing fire and commanding the attention of a couple hundred law enforcement types.The only thing I wanted in the world was to have that passion turned towards me.I might completely melt under the heat of it, but it would be a lovely way to die.”

Don smiled at the image.“What about a lovely way to live?”

“Even better.”Will kissed him warmly.“What about you, when do you know you ...?”

“Oh, no big revelation,” Don said, brushing the hair back from Will’s face. “It just snuck up on me gradually and then, wham, sort of like getting mugged.”

Will laughed.“I guess that makes me the mugger.”

Don slid his fingers over Will’s neck and looked up into Will’s eyes.“I can tell you when it started though.The very first time I saw you.”

“At Titan?There must have been thirty people in that bar.”

“Yeah, but when you looked at me, you and I were the only people in the universe.You really stood out.”

“A good first impression then.”

“If you call getting struck by a lightning bolt a good impression,” Don said with a sideways smile.“I looked for you every time I went there after that.”

“I wish I had been there,” Will said softly, tracing the faint scars on Don’s chest.“Maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

Don caught Will’s hand and kissed it.“Maybe not or maybe it would have anyway.I was in a very self-destructive mode at that time and I doubt I’d have known a good thing if I hadn’t been injured, weak, and kept prisoner for two days.”

“Just one day,” Will protested.“You were a guest after that.”

“And I didn’t even know a good thing then either, I had to go and try to mess it up, like I always do.”

Will sighed.“Don’t blame that fight entirely on yourself.I was angry at you for getting yourself into that mess.And then pushing yourself too hard afterwards.”

“I’m sorry,” Don said sincerely, “For the things that I said that night.”

“Me too,” Will said, then added wryly, “I guess that we knew each other pretty well already to know the things to say to hurt the most.”

“Yeah.”Don ran one finger down Will’s cheekbones.“You don’t know how many times I’ve thought about calling you, but I convinced myself that I was better off without you.”

“What an idiot,” Will smiled.“I could have called you too, but I was too proud and stubborn.”

“That’s past, though,” Don said. “And the present is looking pretty good to me.”

“Me too,” Will said.

Don gazed into those deep eyes and said, with a sense of wonder, “I love you, Will.”

“I love you, Don,” Will responded, and in his voice was the same sense of surprised happiness.“I love you, _aein_.”

Maybe the future wouldn’t be so scary after all.


	23. Meeting the family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don is afraid to take Will home to meet his family, especially Charlie.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 23  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 23 - Meeting the family  
Will is introduced to Charlie and Alan.

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
 **Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
 **Warnings: Lemon, M/M. Do not read if you are under 18.**  
 ****

  
**  
****A/N:** This will be 24 parts long.  I ran out of song lyrics, but I consider Marc Cohn's "One Safe Place" the theme song for this story.

Don came over to Will’s house the next night after work.They made love, ate dinner, watched a ballgame, made love again, and slept in each other’s arms.

The next night it was Don’s apartment, then a few nights of late work for Don, then Will’s place again.They quickly settled into a pattern and devised a series of short coded text messages to send to each other that meant anything from ‘Working late’ to ‘7pm at my apartment’ to ‘Pick up something to eat’ to ‘Gonna fuck you over the kitchen table’. At first, perversely, Don tried to shock Will with the daily horrors of his job, but Will always had something to match the horror.Don stopped trying to shock, just told Will what he needed to – not in terms of job requirements or secrecy, but what Don needed to share with someone he loved in order to unburden his soul, banish the darkness.Will did the same with him and Don listened and understood.

Will’s specialty was undercover work, among the most dangerous people in LA.He could be put on a case at any time where he could disappear for weeks.Don wasn’t looking forward to that, and felt the first stirrings of what he knew would be long-term and constant anxiety for Will’s safety.He knew that Will felt the same anxiety for him, so they felt no need to discuss it.They just enjoyed the time they had and didn’t plan anything too far in advance.

On a Wednesday night, about two and a half weeks after that fateful baseball game, Don came over to Will’s house.The house was quiet and Don let himself in with his key.He had his shoes off and a beer in hand when Will got home.

“Hey, babe,” Will said, coming through the door and dropping his stuff off on the kitchen table.Thumbing through the mail, Will came and sat next to Don.“Hard day?” he asked mildly.

“Aren’t they all?” Don said, reaching over to rest his hand on Will’s thigh.“But Charlie came through for us like always.”

Will smiled.“So when am I going to meet this family of yours?”

Don went cold and his hand tightened on Will’s thigh.His heart pounded. _No, it’s too soon, not yet …_

Will raised his eyebrows at the expression that must be on Don’s face, but he continued, “I’d like to meet Charlie in particular.”

Don clenched his teeth. _I won’t survive it this time._ He said harshly, “I don’t want you to meet my brother.”

Will frowned, “Why not?Are you still ashamed …”

Don put his head down.He and Will had vowed truth in their relationship - the good, the bad, and the ugly.Finally, he mumbled, “I don’t want to lose you.”

There was a shocked silence then Will said, “I’m not into skinny little boys, no matter how smart they are.”

Don laughed bitterly.“That’s what people say until they meet him and then it’s ‘he’s adorable’ and ‘he’s irresistible’ and ‘he’s the sweetest fuck.’”

Will shook his head sadly and lifted Don’s chin.“He’s not gonna take me away from you.”He added with a smile, “I’ve already put too much work into you.”

Don pressed his lips together and tried to believe Will.But years of isolation and disillusionment got in the way.Fighting a tightness in his throat, Don did the only thing he could think of and kissed Will hard.

Will drew back and looked at him.“I can see I’m going to need to meet your family very soon.”

“No, they’re busy this weekend and—“

“Very soon,” Will said firmly.“And show you that I can resist your siren of a little brother.”

Don winced.It did sound silly, but he’d seen it happen.First David then Colby.Maybe he was just every man’s stepping stone to his little brother.His hand clenched around Will’s thigh.

“How about tonight?”Will said.“We can go over for dinner.”

“No, Charlie’s busy and … I’m sure my dad is too.”

“Don,” Will snapped, “I am a trained investigator and you’re not lying very well.I’ll bet your dad has already invited you over for supper tonight.”

Don closed his eyes and tried to think rationally, but the pain of Colby’s loss and his downward spiral that followed was still too fresh of a memory.Don’s feelings about Colby had been a candle flame next to the blazing sun of his feelings for Will.If he lost Will …

“And if you’re so goddamned sure I’m gonna jump ship,” Will continued, growing angrier with each word, “Then we better find out now.”He pushed Don away and stood up.“Get your shoes.”

Don put on his shoes and they walked to Don’s car in tense silence.They drove in that silence for a long while, then Don suddenly turned into a parking lot and switched off the car.He looked at his hands, white-knuckled on the steering wheel.“I’m sorry,” he said at last.“I’m just …” He trailed off, unable to complete the sentence with _scared as hell._

Abruptly, Will started to laugh.Don flinched and stared at him.

“I always thought,” Will said between laughs, “that if a boyfriend … would be afraid to take me home to meet his family …”He gulped for air.“That it would be because he’s gay and doesn’t … know how his parents will react … to him bringing home a man.Not because … he was afraid his … gay brother would .. snatch me up.”He shook his head, still laughing.

Unwillingly, Don began to smile.It _was_ quite ridiculous.“My family has never been normal,” he said with a shrug.

“No, no, I’d say not,” Will said, wiping his eyes.

Don gave himself a shake and took a few deep breaths.Then he reached over and squeezed Will’s shoulder.“Come on,” he said.“Let’s go show my family what a gorgeous guy I netted.”

Will smiled and put his hand over Don’s.“I seem to recall that it was me doing the netting.”

“Maybe so, but it was me who had the great good sense to allow myself to get caught.”

Will rolled his eyes and Don smiled.

Feeling much lighter, Don pulled back out onto the road.Don had to take his hand back to drive, but Will reached over and placed a warm hand on Don’s shoulder.He left it there as Don drove through the familiar streets of his childhood 

They reached the driveway and Don took a few more deep breaths.He unbuckled his seatbelt and said, “Here we go…”

Don opened the door to the smell of lasagna.“Dad?Charlie?”he called.

“Donnie!”Alan said, coming through the door from the kitchen, potholders on his hands.“I thought you—“He halted when he saw Will standing behind Don.Alan recovered quickly and said, “Hi.I don’t think we’ve met.”

Don said, “Dad, this is Will, Will Stevens.He’s my …”Don felt himself blushing but couldn’t help it.With Will, Don was learning how to blush all over again.

Will leaned around Don and said, “’Boyfriend’ is the word he’s looking for.”

“Yeah,” Don mumbled.

“Ah,” Alan said and looked appraisingly at Will.Don could feel Will stiffening behind him, as if he was bracing himself for a blow.Instead, Alan reached out his hand, took Will’s, and shook it.“Nice to meet you,” he said. Will looked surprised.

“Dad, this is the friend from the DEA who … helped me when I got into trouble.”

“Oh!”Alan clasped Will’s hand in both of his.“Thank you.”

“Umm, you’re welcome,” Will said faintly.

Don hid a smile at seeing the normally composed DEA agent so nonplused.Don walked inside, shut the door behind Will, and started dumping his stuff on the usual side table.With a groan about burning lasagna, Alan hurried back into the kitchen, 

“Hey, did I hear Don?” Charlie came bouncing down the stairs.He stopped and stared at Will.“Do I know you?”

It was Don’s turn to stiffen.“No, Charlie, this is Will.”

“Hi,” Charlie said, looking at Will with frank curiosity.

“Charlie,” Will said, holding out his hand.“I’ve heard so much about you.”

Charlie took the hand and shook it slowly, still studying Will.“I bet Don’s told you the most embarrassing stories he knows,” he said.

“Not at all,” Will said, retrieving his hand.“Everyone in LA envies the FBI their amazing mathematician.”

“Oh?” Charlie said, brightening.

Don smiled.Trust Will to go right for Charlie’s big weakness – flattery. 

“Where’s your boy tonight?”Don asked.He’d prefer Colby to be here, since when he was around no one else existed for Charlie.

“He had to do laundry,” Charlie said grumpily. “Said that if he didn’t, he was gonna have to start showing up at work in a garbage bag.”

“Hmm,” Don said, picturing it.Colby could probably make a garbage bag look good.Will shifted behind Don, catching Charlie’s eyes again.

“Are you here for a case?” Charlie asked Will.

“Nope,” Will said, “Just dinner.And to meet Don’s family.”

“Meet his …” Charlie’s eyebrows shot up.“You and him?”

“Yeah,” Don said, reaching for Will’s hand.“Me and him.”

“Wow!” Charlie said, his eyes growing wide.“That’s weird ... but cool!”

Will looked surprised all over again.“You do have an odd family,” he mumbled.

Charlie laughed and headed off to the kitchen.

As Charlie disappeared through the door to the kitchen, Will squeezed Don’s hand.“See that wasn’t so bad.”

“Not yet,” Don grumbled.He’d seen the speculative admiration in Charlie’s eyes.

Will shook his head and put two fingers under Don’s chin.He tilted Don’s face up and gave him a soft kiss.Don returned it, needing the reassurance.

Will smiled then said, “It’s a nice house.”

“Yeah,” Don said, holding Will’s hand while they walked towards the couch.“I grew up here.Really strange that my brother now owns it.But I still think of it as my parent’s house.”

“Your mom?”Will asked.

“She died a few years ago.Cancer.”

“I’m sorry,” Will said softly.

Don nodded and looked around.Amazing how everything should look so much the same when he felt so different.He sat down on the couch, Will beside him.

“I saw blueprints in the dining room, what are they for?”Will asked.

Don answered and they chatted idly for a few minutes, Don with only half his mind on what he was saying.Will kept up both ends of the conversation to allow Don time to compose himself.Will put his arm around Don and Don leaned on his shoulder.There was something magical about Will’s arms, Don decided.Why else would their simple touch make him feel so safe?Don snuggled closer.

There was a clearing of the throat and Don jerked away from Will, blushing furiously.

Alan was standing in the doorway, a steaming dish of lasagna in his hands.Will just smiled and said, “Got enough for an extra plate?”

“Are you kidding?” Alan said, “With this recipe, if my boys don’t eat too, I’m drowning in lasagna for a week.”

Don and Will got to their feet and followed Alan to the table.Charlie bustled out of the kitchen with two extra place settings.Alan set the lasagna down and went to get the garlic bread.

“Sit!Eat!” Charlie said.“Or else it’s lasagna leftovers for me too.”

Don pulled out a chair and Will followed suit.

For a moment there was only the flurry of passing plates and serving food and getting drinks.When all the plates and glasses were full and the first bites tasted and complimented, Alan fixed Will with an intent look, “So tell us about yourself.”

Will blinked and looked surprised.Don chuckled.

“What,” Alan said cheerfully, “you thought I was gonna be so shocked that you were gonna get out of the customary quizzing?” 

Smiling, Will shook his head and asked, “Where should I start?”

“How about where you met my son?”

Will’s eyes flickered to Charlie and his smile faded.“Actually, sir—“

“Alan,” Don’s father interrupted.

“Actually, Alan,” Will said.“It was when your other son was kidnapped.”

Alan winced and reached out for Charlie’s hand.

Will continued, “You know that Don called in just about everybody with a badge and that meant the DEA too.I met Don there, in a way.He was busy.I just sort of, umm, kept an eye out for him after that.”

“I’m glad you did,” Alan said quietly.

“You’re DEA?”Charlie asked.“Not FBI?”

“Yeah, a Fed of a different color,” Will replied.

Alan let go of Charlie’s hand with a visible effort at releasing the past.He picked up his fork and grumbled, “Another Fed.Donnie, couldn’t you have found a nice unemployed artist or street musician?”

That startled a laugh from Will and Don smiled.


	24. The competition and the winners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will demonstrates that the only Eppes he is interested in is Don.

**Title:** Looking for Love, Part 24 of 24  


**Pairing:**

Don/OMC [Will]  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:** Don's long journey to find love.  
Part 24 - The competition and the winners  
Will proves something to Don.

**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
 **Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
 **Warnings: Lemon, M/M. Do not read if you are under 18.**

  
****A/N:**** This is the last part of my long search to find Don love.  I hope you've enjoyed the ride.  This story has felt like one gamble after another so I appreciate the people who followed along as I took Don through Hell and out the other side.  With Will, I think finally Don has found his "one safe place."

Thanks to my first readers and people who gave enthusiastic feedback.  People out there who've been reading this but never commented, let me know!  I've gotten some flack and some absolute disinterest in this story so it's good to hear from anyone who liked it.

 

An hour later, Will, Don and Charlie were sitting with their drinks in the solarium.The open windows let in the pleasant night air and for the moment, there was a pause in the conversation.

Will had insisted on doing the dishes, which made Alan pretend to faint in astonishment.Now his father was off with studying some blueprints and Will was sitting on the couch next to Don, their legs lightly touching.

The evening had gone okay, maybe even well.His father certainly liked Will, even if he was a Fed.They’d found plenty of common ground.While Don had scooped out some ice cream, Will and his father had talked with great animation about the movements and behavior of urban populations, which Don guessed interested both city planners and Sociologists.Then, of course, there were the requisite embarrassing stories that parents - and brothers - had to tell all of their kid’s dates.

All through dinner, Charlie had watched Will with undisguised fascination, probably wondering who this man was who would settle for his brother.Don took a long pull from his beer.

Will stood up casually.“Come here, Charlie,” he said.“Got something to prove to your big brother.”

Grinning, Charlie set down his glass and stood up.“What?” 

Two steps and Will pulled Charlie against him, tilted up his chin, and kissed him deeply.

Don found himself standing, fists clenched.He couldn’t move further, he was riveted to the spot with horror and anger.

After a shocked hesitation, Charlie returned Will’s kiss, with interest.Will’s mouth devoured Charlie, and Charlie _melted_.A long agonizing moment then Will released Charlie.Charlie stumbled back, his eyes wide and his hand on his mouth.

“Nice,” Will commented.“He is sweet, but—“

Don swung a punch and Will caught his wrist, jerked Don forward against him, imprisoning Don in arms that were suddenly made of steel.

“There, _aein_ ,” Will said roughly.  “I’ve tried your baby brother and I still much prefer you.”

“You are a bastard,” Don growled.

“Yes, you’re just figuring that out?”Will said.Where had Don heard that exchange before?Oh right, after he had first kissed Will, but they’d been on opposite sides of the conversation.

Will looked over Don’s shoulder to Charlie.“I apologize, but your brother wasn’t going to believe me unless I actually sampled the competition.”

“Competition?”Charlie asked faintly.

Don struggled in Will’s arms and Will let him go. Don threw himself on the couch and reached for his beer with a trembling hand.

Will sat down in the chair across from Don.His words were addressed to Charlie but his eyes were on Don.“Don here seems to think you’re a boyfriend snatcher.”

“But I would never …” Charlie protested.

“Colby,” Don snapped.“And David.”

Don looked up to see bewilderment on Charlie’s face.“I … I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to …”Charlie stammered, taking a step back.“We just … and I … then he told me … and I realized …”

Seeing the confusion and alarm in those big brown eyes, Don relented with a sigh.He’d never been able to stay angry at Charlie for long, even when Charlie deserved it.“I know, I just …”He waved his hand to indicated the whole messy topic.

“He’s just an idiot,” Will said succinctly.

“Okay, yeah,” Charlie said, but he was still looking at Don with wide, unhappy eyes.

“But Colby’s loss is my gain,” Will added cheerfully.But Don, who was getting to know Will very well, could hear strain in his voice.

_Why would he … Oh._ While Don had feared Charlie taking Will away, Will was just as afraid of Colby taking Don away.

Don stood up and said to Charlie, “Go somewhere else for a few minutes, okay?”

Charlie looked back and forth between them, probably deciding if he needed to mediate.He nodded jerkily and withdrew.

Don crouched in front of the chair where Will sat and took Will’s hands in his.Will didn’t look at him.“Colby is gone, past.” Don said softly.“He’s just my co-worker and friend and brother’s boyfriend, nothing more.”

“But you wanted him to be more.” Will said, his voice flat.“You said that if you hadn’t messed it up, you’d be with him.How am I supposed to feel about that?”

Don bit his lip, realizing that had indeed said that, and he had never told Will otherwise.“Colby’s great,” Don said, “but falling in love with Colby was like getting shot with a pellet gun and falling in love with you was like getting nailed with RPG.No real comparison.”

Will’s lips quirked.“Interesting analogy.”

“I believe,” Don said, putting every ounce of conviction that he had into his voice, “that even if I had done everything right with Colby, that you and I would still have ended up together somehow.”

Will gripped Don’s hands and finally met his eyes.

“I believe that, I have to believe that,” Don continued, “It wouldn’t be fair if the greatest love of my life passed me by because I did something _right_.”

“Life’s not fair,” Will said.

“No, it’s not,” Don agreed.“So let’s just consider it a miracle that we found each other and not worry about it.”

Will shook himself, like he was shaking off old fears, and smiled at Don.“You’re still an idiot.”

“You’re still a bastard,” Don responded, standing up and pulling Will to his feet.“And if you ever kiss my brother again, I’ll shoot you.”

Will wrapped his arms around Don and pulled him close.“I get the feeling that I’m gonna have to deal with that anyway when I first meet Colby, assuming Charlie tells him.”

Don locked his hands behind Will’s back.“Oh, he’ll tell him, thinking it was strange or funny.He never realizes consequences.”

“Yeah, well,” Will leaned closer, his eyes dancing. “Even if Colby does shoot me, it was almost worth it to see the look on your face.”

“Bastard,” Don growled, but there was little heat behind it.Will had been right – he wouldn’t have believed just Will’s word that he wasn’t interested in Charlie.Don was too used to all good things going to the genius in the family.Well, Will was one of the best things that had ever happened to him and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Will kissed him then, in the sweet hot way that only Will could.Don returned his kiss, knowing at last, down to his bones, that Will was his and only his.

“You know, _aein_ ,” Don said after a while. “My bedroom from when I was a kid is still upstairs, mostly the same.”

“Want me to see what the teenage Don was like?”

“That too,” Don said, his voice husky, “but mostly I want to fuck you in my old bed, where I jerked off so many times, thinking of hot, wet mouths and warm, willing bodies.”

“With your dad and brother home and awake?”

“Yeah.”

“Oooh,” Will said. “Kinky.I like it.”

“If I ever suggest a kink that you don’t like the sound of,” Don laughed. “I may faint.”

“You have no idea how weird things can get,” Will grinned, then his face grew serious.“Or how bad they can get.But as long as we’re together, there is nothing we can’t handle.”

“Nothing in this horrid, evil world,” Don agreed, safe and secure in the circle of Will’s arms.

“A world that has you in it can’t be all bad,” Will said tenderly.

“Or you, my love,” Don murmured, his mouth inches from Will’s.

“My ugly monkey,” Will murmured back.

Breaking into a laugh, Don pulled back slightly.Will pouted that his endearment had been laughed at, but could only hold his expression for a second then grinned.

“One of these days I’m going to have to find a Korean dictionary—“ Don started

“I have a couple.”

Don rolled his eyes.“I know you have a couple, but I need one that has English and phonetics, not those characters.”

“Picky, picky.”

“And I’m gonna look up what _aein_ actually means.”

“Not gonna just take my word for it?”

“Will,” Don said wryly, “I’m getting to know you too well.You’d think it was hilarious for us to be calling each other something that meant _both_ ‘beloved’ and ‘ugly monkey.’”

Will put his head to one side thoughtfully. “Oh, that would be good.”

“See why I can’t trust you?”Don said triumphantly.

Will smiled and kissed him on his nose.“Now we better go find your brother and convince him that we’re okay.”

Don’s eyes lit up.“Then we’re gonna ditch him, go to my room, and I’m going to fuck you like a horny teenager.”

“As opposed to the usual horny adult?”

“Oh, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“I’ve seen all of you, many times,” Will said.

“I’m sure I’ve still got a few surprises left.”

“I don’t doubt it, _aein_ ,” Will said, twining his fingers through Don’s and moving with him towards the doorway.“I don’t doubt it at all.”

**  
**   



End file.
